Two out of our three children settled, Sangeeta at Indore after her marriage and Kuntal at the Ashram in Coimbatore. Sangya began shaping her future. She was, since early childhood, had no interest in studies but having opted for Civil Services, she took a keen interest. We used to feel happy seeing Sangya, applying her sharp brain. She wasn't a good worker herself but had the knack for getting things done from others. Had she succeeded in entering civil services her nature and attitude would have found an excellent field? She could not succeed in the 2003 State Civil Service Exam conducted by Chhattisgarh PSC despite her hard work. She became a victim of defective ‘scaling system’ introduced. Then she thought of competing for Indian Civil Services and for this she started attending coaching classes at Allahabad and Delhi. During coaching at Delhi, she found a colleague whom she decided to make life companion. Hence she decided to remain a homemaker and dropped from competitions.
Sangya herself had found a companion who was a Chartered Accountant. It is good for marital harmony when children find a companion of their choice. This is something sound but decent. Marriages presuppose sound financial background. My financial crisis wasn't yet over hence we thought it appropriate to delay marriage, as long as possible. The boy had made his family agreed to the proposed marriage. However, haste might be misinterpreted hence I kept awaiting a positive clue from their side whereas the groom party was hesitant in taking an initiative. Thus the matter remained hung in the balance. The two lovers meanwhile would spend hours chatting on mobiles. I used to wonder if they would discuss everything prior to marriage what would be left for them to discuss after the marriage!
On Sangya's birthday, she would-be-father-in-law sent her a wristwatch which we regarded as a positive sign. Yet we could not summon courage. The reasons were, first, the financial constraints that I have already mentioned, and the other was that her's would-be-father-in-law was in Police service. We, the business class, keep shivering whenever we have to deal with Police or Income tax officers. They are so unpredictable, they can draw their sword on the slightest pretext or no pretext at all. You might be surprised to note that the business community even shrinks from inviting them to their family functions. He would visit their homes on the occasion of Diwali to present ‘envelope’ but is afraid of including their names in the guest list. We believe that we must maintain a respectable distance, as the proverb says, ‘Keep them at arm’s length.’
Life was back on its normal track. Getting up early in the morning, reaching the Lodge and retiring home after the work. There was no miracle so far to give brilliance to life. However, constant, calculations with regard to Sangya's marriage continued. A whole year passed without bringing any improvement. Neither my financial circumstances improved nor was there any initiative about Sangya's marriage. On the strength of a telephonic conversation, Madhuri and I went to see their home. We were well received followed by pleasantries. Both the parties assessed each other. Would be son-in-law's grandfather was an interesting person who kept a lively conversation. They belonged to Haryana and he narrated several incidents of his childhood and youth. He even added, "You are from bride's family and we have made you sit beside us. In Haryana, they are made to sit near the shoes." I was momentarily stunned hut soon gave a hearty laugh. After all, It was bridegroom's home! Sangya's would-be-mother-in-law gave us a pair of ear-rings for Sangya when we returned. We returned in a happy mood convinced that the matter could no longer be delayed. Next day I sent a written proposal.
After a few days, we received a call intimating us that they would be on their way to visit the Mahamaya temple at Ratanpur via Bilaspur and wanted all of us to accompany them. So went together and visited the temple. While returning Sangya’s would-be-father-in-law and I came by my Maruti-800 while others by the official vehicle. During the journey, he suggested, "I want to say you something. Daughters remain very close to father's heart and obey him. Please make Sangya understand that she would continue to live in the joint family and never dream of establishing a separate home even if my son suggests so."
I kept quiet for a while unable to decide how to reply. His expectations could not be challenged, it was a valid expectation. But how could I make a commitment to one’s future !"
"Bhai sahab, how much is 2 + 2?" I asked.
"Four", he looked in surprise towards me.
"Correct. But 2 + 2 can also be 22 and can also be zero. Life is not governed by arithmetic formulae. None knows what would happen tomorrow. Who would keep company or would not, is not predictable! Take my son Kuntal's case for example. He went to Tiruchirappalli to be an engineer but joined an Ashram and became a Sanyasi. Tomorrow can not be predicted.
"This is an exceptional case."
"Yes, you are right but I believe that it is futile to nurse expectations from anyone." By that we reached Bilaspur. They came to our lodge, took tea and then departed.
After some days, I received a phone from my Samadhiji : "Please come here, we have to finalize matters about the marriage." I reached the very next day by 9:30 train. Coming out of the station complex to see his official vehicle parked somewhere but I couldn't find one hence I hired an auto and reached the guesthouse where he was staying temporarily. After formalities, he enquired, "Did you find the vehicle I had sent to receive you?"
"I tried to locate it but I couldn't find."
"Oh, I had asked the driver to reach there."
"No matter, he might have forgotten. I hired an auto." There was an elaborate discussion on the marriage program then he enquired, "How much is your budget?"
"Five Lakhs", I said in a distressed tone.
"O.K. Give us four lakhs in cash and retain one for your expenses," he said.
"O.K.", I said.
It was 1 p.m. and I wanted to take leave of him, "May I leave now?"
"Oh, it's time for lunch. In fact, we get meals from the 'mess' we have to inform the kitchen for extra meals that I forgot to convey. My son had reminded me in the morning but even I forgot to place an order."
"Doesn't matter", your lunch will be delivered, wouldn't it? we shall share it." I said with a smile.
We had the lunch together and took leave of him. On my return journey on the train, I began recalling the plight father of a daughter has to undergo !
On returning home I narrated the whole episode to Madhuri who became furious,"You don't have a penny to buy poison, where will you get the sum?"
I tried to persuade her, "The current rate of C.A. is around fifteen lakhs, I managed only in five." I said in my defence.
"It is alright. Once you have promised you have to honor it. When?"
"When we manage the sum."
"But when?"
"Can't say."
"What a strange person you are ! Will your's 'can't say' serve the purpose?"
"Look, when I was a kid I used to sit in the 'Pendrawala' shop and two Fakirs, the beggars, used to beg alms. One of them would say, ‘De De Maula (Maula, please give me)" and the other would say 'Allah hi dega’(Only Almighty Lord will give). I never saw any one of them walking to a person to receive alms. The one who intended to give would personally to and give."
"What do you mean?"
"Allah hi dega," I said with a smile. She kept staring at my face.
Then, one day our would-be-Samadhi ji sent an SMS on my mobile. The 'coded' message said, "My pond is dry, fill it with water." I didn't reply. What reply I could give him? My tap was totally dry, without a drop of water but releasing a sound of air passing only, which wouldn't fill up his pond. One day, to press the matter, even the groom telephoned me asking, "What happened to the money you promised?"
While they were desperate there so were we extremely helpless. As the date of marriage began approaching quite near, our tension kept increasing. Ours was the plight of a farmer who looks blankly at the scorching sun while his crop suffers from famine, no trace of cloud in the horizon. Seeing me inactive and carefree Madhuri would often enquire, "What do you plan to do?"
"Nothing" my reply would make her even more depressed. She said, "Get my jewelry from the Bank’s locker, sell them and finish the episode."
"That won't serve the purpose."
"Then?"
"We would see," I said with the calmness of Tathagat Gautam Buddha.
One day I went to an old class fellow of mine. We were batch met at the high school. He enquired, "Hello, Dwarika, all of sudden, so early in the morning!" I explained my financial problem to him. He said, "Don't worry. Your demand will be honored. Wait a while, I will order to prepare tea for you. What kind of tea, sugared or sugar-free?"
"Sugared, strong tea."
We got our tea, for me strongly sugared, for him sugar-free. After tea, he provided me a heavy bag with currency.
Returning home I apprised Madhuri, "Funds were arranged."
"Wow ! who helped?"
"Allah."
"Allah?"
"Ya, the Fakirs had said, Allah hi dega, He has given."
The two families met on the appointed day and the marriage program ended on a pleasant note. We bid farewell to our daughter. We were happy that we could succeed to bring the episode to a happy climax !
Sangya herself had found a companion who was a Chartered Accountant. It is good for marital harmony when children find a companion of their choice. This is something sound but decent. Marriages presuppose sound financial background. My financial crisis wasn't yet over hence we thought it appropriate to delay marriage, as long as possible. The boy had made his family agreed to the proposed marriage. However, haste might be misinterpreted hence I kept awaiting a positive clue from their side whereas the groom party was hesitant in taking an initiative. Thus the matter remained hung in the balance. The two lovers meanwhile would spend hours chatting on mobiles. I used to wonder if they would discuss everything prior to marriage what would be left for them to discuss after the marriage!
On Sangya's birthday, she would-be-father-in-law sent her a wristwatch which we regarded as a positive sign. Yet we could not summon courage. The reasons were, first, the financial constraints that I have already mentioned, and the other was that her's would-be-father-in-law was in Police service. We, the business class, keep shivering whenever we have to deal with Police or Income tax officers. They are so unpredictable, they can draw their sword on the slightest pretext or no pretext at all. You might be surprised to note that the business community even shrinks from inviting them to their family functions. He would visit their homes on the occasion of Diwali to present ‘envelope’ but is afraid of including their names in the guest list. We believe that we must maintain a respectable distance, as the proverb says, ‘Keep them at arm’s length.’
I was in a confusion that this phase of courtship and conversation would soon end and the matter would be reduced into a fiasco. But it didn't end in a flop-show.
Life was back on its normal track. Getting up early in the morning, reaching the Lodge and retiring home after the work. There was no miracle so far to give brilliance to life. However, constant, calculations with regard to Sangya's marriage continued. A whole year passed without bringing any improvement. Neither my financial circumstances improved nor was there any initiative about Sangya's marriage. On the strength of a telephonic conversation, Madhuri and I went to see their home. We were well received followed by pleasantries. Both the parties assessed each other. Would be son-in-law's grandfather was an interesting person who kept a lively conversation. They belonged to Haryana and he narrated several incidents of his childhood and youth. He even added, "You are from bride's family and we have made you sit beside us. In Haryana, they are made to sit near the shoes." I was momentarily stunned hut soon gave a hearty laugh. After all, It was bridegroom's home! Sangya's would-be-mother-in-law gave us a pair of ear-rings for Sangya when we returned. We returned in a happy mood convinced that the matter could no longer be delayed. Next day I sent a written proposal.
After a few days, we received a call intimating us that they would be on their way to visit the Mahamaya temple at Ratanpur via Bilaspur and wanted all of us to accompany them. So went together and visited the temple. While returning Sangya’s would-be-father-in-law and I came by my Maruti-800 while others by the official vehicle. During the journey, he suggested, "I want to say you something. Daughters remain very close to father's heart and obey him. Please make Sangya understand that she would continue to live in the joint family and never dream of establishing a separate home even if my son suggests so."
I kept quiet for a while unable to decide how to reply. His expectations could not be challenged, it was a valid expectation. But how could I make a commitment to one’s future !"
"Bhai sahab, how much is 2 + 2?" I asked.
"Four", he looked in surprise towards me.
"Correct. But 2 + 2 can also be 22 and can also be zero. Life is not governed by arithmetic formulae. None knows what would happen tomorrow. Who would keep company or would not, is not predictable! Take my son Kuntal's case for example. He went to Tiruchirappalli to be an engineer but joined an Ashram and became a Sanyasi. Tomorrow can not be predicted.
"This is an exceptional case."
"Yes, you are right but I believe that it is futile to nurse expectations from anyone." By that we reached Bilaspur. They came to our lodge, took tea and then departed.
After some days, I received a phone from my Samadhiji : "Please come here, we have to finalize matters about the marriage." I reached the very next day by 9:30 train. Coming out of the station complex to see his official vehicle parked somewhere but I couldn't find one hence I hired an auto and reached the guesthouse where he was staying temporarily. After formalities, he enquired, "Did you find the vehicle I had sent to receive you?"
"I tried to locate it but I couldn't find."
"Oh, I had asked the driver to reach there."
"No matter, he might have forgotten. I hired an auto." There was an elaborate discussion on the marriage program then he enquired, "How much is your budget?"
"Five Lakhs", I said in a distressed tone.
"O.K. Give us four lakhs in cash and retain one for your expenses," he said.
"O.K.", I said.
It was 1 p.m. and I wanted to take leave of him, "May I leave now?"
"Oh, it's time for lunch. In fact, we get meals from the 'mess' we have to inform the kitchen for extra meals that I forgot to convey. My son had reminded me in the morning but even I forgot to place an order."
"Doesn't matter", your lunch will be delivered, wouldn't it? we shall share it." I said with a smile.
We had the lunch together and took leave of him. On my return journey on the train, I began recalling the plight father of a daughter has to undergo !
On returning home I narrated the whole episode to Madhuri who became furious,"You don't have a penny to buy poison, where will you get the sum?"
I tried to persuade her, "The current rate of C.A. is around fifteen lakhs, I managed only in five." I said in my defence.
"It is alright. Once you have promised you have to honor it. When?"
"When we manage the sum."
"But when?"
"Can't say."
"What a strange person you are ! Will your's 'can't say' serve the purpose?"
"Look, when I was a kid I used to sit in the 'Pendrawala' shop and two Fakirs, the beggars, used to beg alms. One of them would say, ‘De De Maula (Maula, please give me)" and the other would say 'Allah hi dega’(Only Almighty Lord will give). I never saw any one of them walking to a person to receive alms. The one who intended to give would personally to and give."
"What do you mean?"
"Allah hi dega," I said with a smile. She kept staring at my face.
Then, one day our would-be-Samadhi ji sent an SMS on my mobile. The 'coded' message said, "My pond is dry, fill it with water." I didn't reply. What reply I could give him? My tap was totally dry, without a drop of water but releasing a sound of air passing only, which wouldn't fill up his pond. One day, to press the matter, even the groom telephoned me asking, "What happened to the money you promised?"
While they were desperate there so were we extremely helpless. As the date of marriage began approaching quite near, our tension kept increasing. Ours was the plight of a farmer who looks blankly at the scorching sun while his crop suffers from famine, no trace of cloud in the horizon. Seeing me inactive and carefree Madhuri would often enquire, "What do you plan to do?"
"Nothing" my reply would make her even more depressed. She said, "Get my jewelry from the Bank’s locker, sell them and finish the episode."
"That won't serve the purpose."
"Then?"
"We would see," I said with the calmness of Tathagat Gautam Buddha.
One day I went to an old class fellow of mine. We were batch met at the high school. He enquired, "Hello, Dwarika, all of sudden, so early in the morning!" I explained my financial problem to him. He said, "Don't worry. Your demand will be honored. Wait a while, I will order to prepare tea for you. What kind of tea, sugared or sugar-free?"
"Sugared, strong tea."
We got our tea, for me strongly sugared, for him sugar-free. After tea, he provided me a heavy bag with currency.
Returning home I apprised Madhuri, "Funds were arranged."
"Wow ! who helped?"
"Allah."
"Allah?"
"Ya, the Fakirs had said, Allah hi dega, He has given."
The two families met on the appointed day and the marriage program ended on a pleasant note. We bid farewell to our daughter. We were happy that we could succeed to bring the episode to a happy climax !
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