During my visit to Korba, on way to the training center from the guest house I found a couplet by Rahim, an eminent Hindi poet, Rahiman chup vhai baithiye dekh dinan ke fer, neeke din jab aaihain ubari n lagihain der, written on a board which used to urge people to have patience and fortitude during period of distress. It promised good days ahead. It used to give me solace and felt consoled.
However, my eyes had turned dry awaiting those promised good days. My financial circumstances were getting worse from bad. I didn’t have any bad habit, neither gambling nor any addiction to drinking or smoking. I wasn’t extravagant. However, interest on my loans along with day to day domestic expenses far exceeded my meager income hence I continued to have a hand to mouth living. Quite a few training periods used to be without remuneration, mere heartiest thanks, whatever I used to earn as remuneration could be considered an ice cream to feed an elephant.
Proverbs enlighten us, ‘One should miss a meal instead of borrowing.’ One can do so but one can not see one’s wife and children starving or can you see your quest hungry? How can an educated person deny education to his children? People helped me a lot but how many times and how long can a wellwisher continue helping the needy person?
My father-in-law Kishun Lal and elder brother Roop Narayan were very generous to extend financial support for the construction of the house. Though it was a loan but due to delay was turning into a grant. Suddenly my father-in-law had a cardiac arrest and expired. I had to attend his funeral as a defaulter son-in-law. My words cannot express my embarrassment at that time. I shall regret the fact all my life, that I could not repay my loan when he was alive. Neither he, nor my elder brother nor my friend Ramkishan Khandelwal ever demanded the sum back, nor did they divulge the fact to anyone nor reminded me for ten to twenty years!
You may ask why such situation arose. I had sound business skills with good knowledge of management principles yet I could not control the situation. A believer in fate would blame his ill fate but non-believers would point out the reason for the failure towards my mismanagement and poor financial planning. But the reason behind the situation was to stand on family responsibilities I exceeded beyond my capacity which my shoulder could not bear.
Service class and businessman have different attitudes. An employed person can excuse himself excused on the pretext of ‘leave’ problems and avoid attending a social celebration. He might even say that the financial constraints during the last days of the month did not permit him to attend. But a businessman can not parade such excuses. A person living in the joint family has to spend much more than he can afford. Nobody notices what one spends nor gets any kind of appreciation. It is just to be generous, throw charity in a sea and forget.
One has to be ingenious as well as shameless in order to survive after borrowing. There are several money lenders willing to lend you money but they wish their capital to be safe and interest to be secured. The moneylender charges low interest if the loan is backed by a surety but the rates of interest go on increasing if the risk is higher. In order to keep my credit in the market, I had to borrow from one to repay an old loan. This is what the proverb says: ‘To rob Peter to pay Paul.’ The antenna of my mind was alert searching a new money lender whenever an old loan approaches payment. I had some permanent money lenders while a few had to be searched whenever the situation became precarious. Majority whom I approached for a loan, obliged me. However, there were several ‘bosom friend’ who maintained a safe distance. These experiences were bitter and an eye opener. Loans were piled up to such an extent that to repay it was not immediately possible. It could be slightly reduced either by selling my wife’s ornaments or the land adjacent to the house but due to emotional attachment I was not prepared to do it. But it could not be delayed anymore.
I had borrowed Rs.One lakh from a friend Akshay to whom I paid monthly interest. After two years he demanded the principal back. I was in a pitiable situation unable to find any source. I urged him to wait for some time but he said that he needed the amount immediately. I thought that he had helped me when I was in a desperate situation. Now it is my turn to do so. I offered him to buy the land adjoining my house and he agreed to buy it at the market rate prevailing at that time. He paid me the sum after deducting his claim. Thus the land earmarked for a spacious bungalow got sold.
Madhuri, to some extent, knew a little about my financial liabilities. But she could not fathom its magnitude. I did not divulge my miserable plight because despite my pitiable condition I could enjoy sound sleep. She wouldn’t sleep at all if she knew the real situation. I suffered the misery of those horrible days alone because it was because of my past folly of remaining deeply attached with the joint family.
Neither Madhuri nor my children had any extravagant demand. To pay Sangeeta’s college fees used to be a grim task. When I failed to pay her annual fees in time her exam. Admit card used to be withheld and she would phone me, “Papa, arrange to remit fifteen thousand two hundred towards tuition fees (Rs.14000) and late fees (Rs.1200) to enable me to take the exam.” I would leave the house in search of a new well-wisher. It was a very trying period. Quite often I did not have money to buy ration or even vegetables. Things were manageable as my unstable financial condition was not known in the market.
Financial ups and downs lasted for 30 years like a prolonged tune of Dhrupad classical song, extremely long and boring. Yet, we always lived as a carefree family, in our gaiety. Tension used to subdue me, but for some time. Whatever an urgent payment was to be made I would be tensed but as soon as the commitment was honored I was again relaxed. In a book on stress management, we are apprised of AAA formula. A = Alter, A = Avoid, A = Accept.
# Alter: When in tension, find its root and try to alter the situation.
# Avoid: If no solution is in sight, postpone it or delay it. If an alteration is not possible, avoid it.
# Accept: When both possibilities are blocked, accept the situation. If no way, accept it.
This principle always came to my rescue and I was always happy. However, I was sure of my long life as the creditors always prayed for it.
Crushed under the mountain of hazards I began suffocating. No ray of hope was in sight yet I always try to look beyond the darkness.
However, my eyes had turned dry awaiting those promised good days. My financial circumstances were getting worse from bad. I didn’t have any bad habit, neither gambling nor any addiction to drinking or smoking. I wasn’t extravagant. However, interest on my loans along with day to day domestic expenses far exceeded my meager income hence I continued to have a hand to mouth living. Quite a few training periods used to be without remuneration, mere heartiest thanks, whatever I used to earn as remuneration could be considered an ice cream to feed an elephant.
Proverbs enlighten us, ‘One should miss a meal instead of borrowing.’ One can do so but one can not see one’s wife and children starving or can you see your quest hungry? How can an educated person deny education to his children? People helped me a lot but how many times and how long can a wellwisher continue helping the needy person?
My father-in-law Kishun Lal and elder brother Roop Narayan were very generous to extend financial support for the construction of the house. Though it was a loan but due to delay was turning into a grant. Suddenly my father-in-law had a cardiac arrest and expired. I had to attend his funeral as a defaulter son-in-law. My words cannot express my embarrassment at that time. I shall regret the fact all my life, that I could not repay my loan when he was alive. Neither he, nor my elder brother nor my friend Ramkishan Khandelwal ever demanded the sum back, nor did they divulge the fact to anyone nor reminded me for ten to twenty years!
You may ask why such situation arose. I had sound business skills with good knowledge of management principles yet I could not control the situation. A believer in fate would blame his ill fate but non-believers would point out the reason for the failure towards my mismanagement and poor financial planning. But the reason behind the situation was to stand on family responsibilities I exceeded beyond my capacity which my shoulder could not bear.
Service class and businessman have different attitudes. An employed person can excuse himself excused on the pretext of ‘leave’ problems and avoid attending a social celebration. He might even say that the financial constraints during the last days of the month did not permit him to attend. But a businessman can not parade such excuses. A person living in the joint family has to spend much more than he can afford. Nobody notices what one spends nor gets any kind of appreciation. It is just to be generous, throw charity in a sea and forget.
One has to be ingenious as well as shameless in order to survive after borrowing. There are several money lenders willing to lend you money but they wish their capital to be safe and interest to be secured. The moneylender charges low interest if the loan is backed by a surety but the rates of interest go on increasing if the risk is higher. In order to keep my credit in the market, I had to borrow from one to repay an old loan. This is what the proverb says: ‘To rob Peter to pay Paul.’ The antenna of my mind was alert searching a new money lender whenever an old loan approaches payment. I had some permanent money lenders while a few had to be searched whenever the situation became precarious. Majority whom I approached for a loan, obliged me. However, there were several ‘bosom friend’ who maintained a safe distance. These experiences were bitter and an eye opener. Loans were piled up to such an extent that to repay it was not immediately possible. It could be slightly reduced either by selling my wife’s ornaments or the land adjacent to the house but due to emotional attachment I was not prepared to do it. But it could not be delayed anymore.
I had borrowed Rs.One lakh from a friend Akshay to whom I paid monthly interest. After two years he demanded the principal back. I was in a pitiable situation unable to find any source. I urged him to wait for some time but he said that he needed the amount immediately. I thought that he had helped me when I was in a desperate situation. Now it is my turn to do so. I offered him to buy the land adjoining my house and he agreed to buy it at the market rate prevailing at that time. He paid me the sum after deducting his claim. Thus the land earmarked for a spacious bungalow got sold.
Madhuri, to some extent, knew a little about my financial liabilities. But she could not fathom its magnitude. I did not divulge my miserable plight because despite my pitiable condition I could enjoy sound sleep. She wouldn’t sleep at all if she knew the real situation. I suffered the misery of those horrible days alone because it was because of my past folly of remaining deeply attached with the joint family.
Neither Madhuri nor my children had any extravagant demand. To pay Sangeeta’s college fees used to be a grim task. When I failed to pay her annual fees in time her exam. Admit card used to be withheld and she would phone me, “Papa, arrange to remit fifteen thousand two hundred towards tuition fees (Rs.14000) and late fees (Rs.1200) to enable me to take the exam.” I would leave the house in search of a new well-wisher. It was a very trying period. Quite often I did not have money to buy ration or even vegetables. Things were manageable as my unstable financial condition was not known in the market.
Financial ups and downs lasted for 30 years like a prolonged tune of Dhrupad classical song, extremely long and boring. Yet, we always lived as a carefree family, in our gaiety. Tension used to subdue me, but for some time. Whatever an urgent payment was to be made I would be tensed but as soon as the commitment was honored I was again relaxed. In a book on stress management, we are apprised of AAA formula. A = Alter, A = Avoid, A = Accept.
# Alter: When in tension, find its root and try to alter the situation.
# Avoid: If no solution is in sight, postpone it or delay it. If an alteration is not possible, avoid it.
# Accept: When both possibilities are blocked, accept the situation. If no way, accept it.
This principle always came to my rescue and I was always happy. However, I was sure of my long life as the creditors always prayed for it.
Crushed under the mountain of hazards I began suffocating. No ray of hope was in sight yet I always try to look beyond the darkness.
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