Finally, we came back home, I would rather say could not change our place. The problem and its solution lie at the far end, very far. The real problem is to understand the problem. A person who is surrounded by problems does not find his intellect working properly, even his attempt to solve the problem is barred by negative thoughts. ‘Wait for the right time’ is the step taken by the person to postpone any redress to the problem. Even his intellect is challenged by his own people who would always be concerned that the person may not take a wrong step.
I could sustain and survive my crisis for three decades. Thanks to the support that my wife and children extended. Quite often I used to blame myself for their miserable plight, they had to undergo a lot of inconvenience on my account. Madhuri had to suffer a lot because of joint families ordeals. Suffering doesn’t merely imply the burden of household responsibilities. Any Indian film on the theme of a joint family system would enlighten you a lot. Even after ‘expulsion’ from the joint family, she did not find relief, thanks to her pampered husband. In her place, any one women of the modern era would have left me!
I had believed that she would stand by me and support my decision to shift but she could not make up her mind. She strongly rejected the idea of shifting to Pune. I had to adhere to her stand and remained silent.
This was the third mistake of my life. Yes, third mistake. The first when I decided to opt my family business and quit for administrative service. The second, when I foolishly handed over the ‘Pendrawala’ shop to my younger brother and accept the liabilities on my shoulders. The third, I could not stick to my intention of shifting to Pune.
Alas! Man can not foresee his future and decide accordingly.
**********
Our Pune episode distracted you from the main story. We were talking about Kuntal’s decision to compete for engineering admission. He was obsessed by his desire to compete. It was a year that saw his determination and sense of dedication. He was driven by a frenzy and scored distinction in English and Maths at the twelfth year exams. This was followed by the results of MPPET, VYAPAM, Bhopal. Out of 50 thousand students, Kuntal stood at the 72nd rank, scoring 80% marks. We hoped that he would get admission in any prestigious institution of the country whereas Kuntal aspired to join REC Trichy (Now a NIT). We were asked to report at Bhopal for counseling. I decided to accompany him. I didn’t have decent clothes. Madhuri advised, “Go to the market and buy two readymade pants. People from the whole country would flock together. You won’t look fine in such shabby dresses.”
My financial position was tight but keeping Madhuri’s order in mind, I complied and bought two pants. I reached Bhopal with Kuntal. The pants that I bought could not serve the intended purpose because the stitches of one of the pants were loose within a few minutes of use. Hence I did not touch the second fearing similar fate. So I had to rely on my old worn out pants and reached REC for counseling. Mismanagement crowd and day long to and fro movement made me upset. Persons on duty were not only rude but also adept in postponing matters. Had Kuntal’s admission not been at stake I would have picked quarrels with them. However, a life spent in our country makes you extremely tolerant. Ours is a strange system, 'keep quiet.' Dare not to speak: neither at home nor outside. Anyway, Kuntal had his wish fulfilled. He got the college of his choice, Trichy REC. We returned Bilaspur in a happy mood.
Then arose another problem – how to manage a sum of Rs.20,000/- for Kuntal’s admission at Trichy. Annual tuition fee Rs.15,000/- plus Rs.2,000/- for hostel admission, Rs.2,000/- pocket expenses and another Rs.1,000/- for to and fro journey. I was just thinking about a person among my acquaintance who could manage the sum. Reservations for the journey to Trichy and for the return were made. At least, the day when we were to leave for Trichy also arrived. In the morning Madhuri enquired while having tea, “You are to leave in the evening.”
“Yes.”
“Did you manage the sum?”
“No.”
“Then!”
“I will see. We have a full day.”
“Take my bangles. Sell them if this can serve the need.”
“No, I won’t touch your ornaments. I had been through hard phases but never asked you for them. Keep them secure. Maybe we might need at the time of our children’s marriage, at least let them remain intact.”
There is a locality in our city called Gondpara where stands a temple, Sita Ram Temple. Pandit Laxman Sharan Mishra former professor of philosophy at Ravi Shankar University, Raipur assumed its care after his retirement. He was all-in-one. I used to find pleasure in his company discussing religious, social and political matters. I was mentally upset but I went to him to seek solace and make my mind firm. We had Poha for breakfast followed by tea. We had a discussion for almost an hour. Suddenly Panditji asked, “What is the matter Dwarika Bhaiya, your mind seems to be somewhere else.”
“Kuntal is to be admitted at Trichy REC. We are to leave in the evening without having the required sum. I am in a fix. How to arrange?”
“What do you say? You amidst financial crisis?”
“Yes, I have been pondering over it”. He rose from the sofa, opened his steel almirah, and took out a cheque book.
“How much do you need?”
“Twenty thousand.”
He wrote the cheque and said, “This is for twenty thousand. Get it en-cashed at the bank.”
“You are so kind and helpful but I have a problem, I am not sure how long will I take to repay it.”
“No problem. Repay when you have the convenience. This is temple’s money. There won’t be any reminder.” He said with love and affection.
I rose, touched his feet and returned to the shop to apprise Madhuri.
It was the day of Krishna Janmashtami, the auspicious day of Lord Krishna’s birth. Kuntal, who left home that night, never came back. He came but stayed out. You might be wondering, ‘What could have happened?’ I promise I’ll tell you all. He has to spend four years studying engineering. Let him finish wait till then.
I wish every one’s life is interesting. We all want to live happily but the life situations we are environed with is always pulling us down but we cannot decide whether to laugh or cry. Even though I had left my parental home but I was always connected and attached to family relations and responsibilities. I always considered their problem as mine and rejoiced in their happiness and in every occasion I would go beyond my means to fulfill my obligations and to keep the relations intact. But you know whenever the wheel of balance and mutual trust is lost, a situation arises that some member turns to be exploiter while other is victimized, the concept of family relationship collapses.
Sigmond Freud said, ‘man is incurable. At the most, we can hope that he might live as adjusted person. One should not expect more than that. One cannot be happy we can simply manage to see that he does not become unhappy.’
I could sustain and survive my crisis for three decades. Thanks to the support that my wife and children extended. Quite often I used to blame myself for their miserable plight, they had to undergo a lot of inconvenience on my account. Madhuri had to suffer a lot because of joint families ordeals. Suffering doesn’t merely imply the burden of household responsibilities. Any Indian film on the theme of a joint family system would enlighten you a lot. Even after ‘expulsion’ from the joint family, she did not find relief, thanks to her pampered husband. In her place, any one women of the modern era would have left me!
I had believed that she would stand by me and support my decision to shift but she could not make up her mind. She strongly rejected the idea of shifting to Pune. I had to adhere to her stand and remained silent.
This was the third mistake of my life. Yes, third mistake. The first when I decided to opt my family business and quit for administrative service. The second, when I foolishly handed over the ‘Pendrawala’ shop to my younger brother and accept the liabilities on my shoulders. The third, I could not stick to my intention of shifting to Pune.
Alas! Man can not foresee his future and decide accordingly.
**********
Our Pune episode distracted you from the main story. We were talking about Kuntal’s decision to compete for engineering admission. He was obsessed by his desire to compete. It was a year that saw his determination and sense of dedication. He was driven by a frenzy and scored distinction in English and Maths at the twelfth year exams. This was followed by the results of MPPET, VYAPAM, Bhopal. Out of 50 thousand students, Kuntal stood at the 72nd rank, scoring 80% marks. We hoped that he would get admission in any prestigious institution of the country whereas Kuntal aspired to join REC Trichy (Now a NIT). We were asked to report at Bhopal for counseling. I decided to accompany him. I didn’t have decent clothes. Madhuri advised, “Go to the market and buy two readymade pants. People from the whole country would flock together. You won’t look fine in such shabby dresses.”
My financial position was tight but keeping Madhuri’s order in mind, I complied and bought two pants. I reached Bhopal with Kuntal. The pants that I bought could not serve the intended purpose because the stitches of one of the pants were loose within a few minutes of use. Hence I did not touch the second fearing similar fate. So I had to rely on my old worn out pants and reached REC for counseling. Mismanagement crowd and day long to and fro movement made me upset. Persons on duty were not only rude but also adept in postponing matters. Had Kuntal’s admission not been at stake I would have picked quarrels with them. However, a life spent in our country makes you extremely tolerant. Ours is a strange system, 'keep quiet.' Dare not to speak: neither at home nor outside. Anyway, Kuntal had his wish fulfilled. He got the college of his choice, Trichy REC. We returned Bilaspur in a happy mood.
Then arose another problem – how to manage a sum of Rs.20,000/- for Kuntal’s admission at Trichy. Annual tuition fee Rs.15,000/- plus Rs.2,000/- for hostel admission, Rs.2,000/- pocket expenses and another Rs.1,000/- for to and fro journey. I was just thinking about a person among my acquaintance who could manage the sum. Reservations for the journey to Trichy and for the return were made. At least, the day when we were to leave for Trichy also arrived. In the morning Madhuri enquired while having tea, “You are to leave in the evening.”
“Yes.”
“Did you manage the sum?”
“No.”
“Then!”
“I will see. We have a full day.”
“Take my bangles. Sell them if this can serve the need.”
“No, I won’t touch your ornaments. I had been through hard phases but never asked you for them. Keep them secure. Maybe we might need at the time of our children’s marriage, at least let them remain intact.”
There is a locality in our city called Gondpara where stands a temple, Sita Ram Temple. Pandit Laxman Sharan Mishra former professor of philosophy at Ravi Shankar University, Raipur assumed its care after his retirement. He was all-in-one. I used to find pleasure in his company discussing religious, social and political matters. I was mentally upset but I went to him to seek solace and make my mind firm. We had Poha for breakfast followed by tea. We had a discussion for almost an hour. Suddenly Panditji asked, “What is the matter Dwarika Bhaiya, your mind seems to be somewhere else.”
“Kuntal is to be admitted at Trichy REC. We are to leave in the evening without having the required sum. I am in a fix. How to arrange?”
“What do you say? You amidst financial crisis?”
“Yes, I have been pondering over it”. He rose from the sofa, opened his steel almirah, and took out a cheque book.
“How much do you need?”
“Twenty thousand.”
He wrote the cheque and said, “This is for twenty thousand. Get it en-cashed at the bank.”
“You are so kind and helpful but I have a problem, I am not sure how long will I take to repay it.”
“No problem. Repay when you have the convenience. This is temple’s money. There won’t be any reminder.” He said with love and affection.
I rose, touched his feet and returned to the shop to apprise Madhuri.
It was the day of Krishna Janmashtami, the auspicious day of Lord Krishna’s birth. Kuntal, who left home that night, never came back. He came but stayed out. You might be wondering, ‘What could have happened?’ I promise I’ll tell you all. He has to spend four years studying engineering. Let him finish wait till then.
I wish every one’s life is interesting. We all want to live happily but the life situations we are environed with is always pulling us down but we cannot decide whether to laugh or cry. Even though I had left my parental home but I was always connected and attached to family relations and responsibilities. I always considered their problem as mine and rejoiced in their happiness and in every occasion I would go beyond my means to fulfill my obligations and to keep the relations intact. But you know whenever the wheel of balance and mutual trust is lost, a situation arises that some member turns to be exploiter while other is victimized, the concept of family relationship collapses.
Sigmond Freud said, ‘man is incurable. At the most, we can hope that he might live as adjusted person. One should not expect more than that. One cannot be happy we can simply manage to see that he does not become unhappy.’
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