Cancer is Cancer. It is called Rajrog, the emperor of diseases. It knows how to embrace Raja (emperor) or Rank (pamper) into its octopus tentacles. I suffered a relapse in 2008 in the same cheek which had undergone surgery in 2002. Though I used to report for periodic check up and the doctor assured me, ‘You are now safe.’ But, the malady returned. My surgeon Dr.Deepak Agrawal said, “Dwarika Prasadji, this time, your surgery will be intensive. Your molars will have to be extracted and mandible will be removed. Because of removal of bone, your face may look a bit odd. You will have to undergo Radiotherapy as well.”
I have observed that one who undergoes cancer surgery again, hardly survives. I was convinced that my days were numbered. What I would suffer would be only prolonging the misery so I conveyed my decision to my family members, ‘I’ll not undergo surgery or Radiotherapy. Let me live as I am, as long as I can, without any treatment. Everyone at home remained highly worried except me. But Sangeeta and Kedar wouldn’t listen to my plea and fixed my surgery at Indore. I had to bow to their wishes.
By that time my two daughters had been married, loans had been repaid and Madhuri had learnt the workings of the Lodge. I had no problem in bidding adieu. So far as pain is concerned, it was a just retribution of the joy I had experienced while consuming tobacco. I was destined to suffer. By that time, I had started writing the autobiography. The only risk was, if I die, my autobiography would be burnt incomplete along me, like many others.
By June 2008 my oral cancer had begun spreading to other areas. I used to have constant pain in my molars, temple and ear. Two months of homeopathy did not show any effect. I was invited to speak on 2nd August 2008 in the Cabinet meeting of Bhopal Lions Club on the subject ‘Organisation Management’. The pain was severe which wouldn’t permit me to speak but I did not want to disappoint the organizers by denying. Despite the pain, I went to Bhopal and spoke for two hours. The pain became acute. From Bhopal, I reached Jabalpur to consult my nephew (sister’s son) Dr.Vikesh Agrawal who referred me to oncologist Dr.Arpan Mishra, who warned me about the fast spreading of disease and advised immediate surgery. I was in a fix unable to decide what to do. Any lapse in deciding could be fatal. I did not want to fight cancer but watch it as an objective observer but Sangeeta and Kedar wouldn’t permit me such liberty. Hence surgery was fixed for 21st August 2008 at Indore. I hadn’t forgotten the pain of the first surgery. This time, it was to be more intensive and longer than the earlier one. I used to shiver imagining the pain awaiting me. I had only options, either to bear the temporary pain or embrace death with indefinitely long suffering. I opted for surgery.
I received Sangeeta’s phone on 18th August who asked me to proceed to Mumbai for having a second opinion. On 19th we left for Mumbai by the morning flight and reported at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital in Dr.Mandar Deshpande’s chamber. The hospital was established recently while the doctors were trusted and experienced though young. Dr.Deshpande had long experience of oral surgery at Mumbai’s Tata Memorial Cancer Hospital. Dr.Deshpande examined me, saw reports and said, “Uncle, you will have to undergo surgery, supra major surgery. Affected bone will have to be removed by operating the cheek followed by plastic surgery of replacing it by a piece of flesh from your thigh to give your face the proper shape. It won’t be as good as the original one, slightly depressed or elevated.”
“O.K.,” said I.
“After surgery, you will have to stay in the hospital for twelve to fourteen days and after discharge, you will have to stay in Mumbai for another two months for Radiotherapy.”
“Doctor, I am ready for surgery but unwilling for radiation.”
“I think Radiotherapy will be necessary after the surgery.”
“Then I would have neither surgery nor radiotherapy, thank you. Allow me to leave.”
“But, had you been my papa, I would have taken this chance, certainly.”
“You’ve said something very serious.”
“I advise you on the basis of my long experience, prepare yourself for both, surgery as well as radiotherapy.”
“O.K., then, go ahead. When do you intend to operate?”
“Let’s have your Biopsy today, we’ll get the report in eight days, three days after that.”
“Doctor, why is biopsy needed?”
“To confirm the cancer.”
“You examined my cheek just now, do you think any confirmation is still needed?”
“You have cancer, it’s confirmed an I can see it. But for patients' satisfaction and our confirmation, we ask for the biopsy.”
“Why should we waste eight days? Operate me tomorrow”, I said.
Dr.Deshpande said, “Get admitted today, some tests will be conducted tomorrow and if the OT is available, surgery day after. Get admitted so that we might begin the procedure.”
“O.K.,” said I.
In an old Hindi film Chalti Ka Naam Gadi, there was an interesting song sung by Kishore Kumar, Jana tha Japan, Pahunch Gae cheen, samajh gae na? (wanted to go to Japan but reached China) . I was to reach Indore whereas I reached Mumbai for surgery. When we reached the center in the night we were told that the twin share package for supra-major-surgery was Rs.2.75 lakhs. We were supposed to deposit Rs.1.80 lakh at that time to secure admission but we got Rs.60,000 only withdrawn from the ATM at the hospital. How to get Rs.1.20 lakh more at that hour? At that time Rajnikant Gadhiya, brother-in-law of my friend Ramesh Jobanputra was with me. He was a resident of Mumbai. He said, “Wait for half an hour, I’ll fetch it.”
By eleven in the night I was on the hospital bed and immediately the procedure began. In the morning of 20th August Madhuri and Kedar also reached Mumbai. Tests, such as scan, x-ray, pathology etc. were conducted during the day. In the evening Dr.Deshpande informed, “I’ve received all reports on my computer. Everything is normal. Be ready by seven in the morning. All the best!”
On my way to O.T. on 21st August, Madhuri, Sangeeta and Kedarnath wished me well, I smiled back. I was taken to a pre-surgery room where several other patients were waiting for their turn. I kept lying there for quite some time, emotionless. I would get up and see other patients and then again lie down. After an hour Anesthetist Dr.Aparna Date arrived asking, “Uncle, shall we proceed?”
“I have been waiting for long, come on,” I replied. A little while after I was lying below the floodlights of an excellent Operation theater. Dr.Date administered an injection in my vein. I don’t know what happened afterward. Oncologist Dr.Mandar Deshpande and plastic surgeon Dr.Charudutta Chaudhari operated on me. My daughter Sangeeta also got the permission to watch her Papa’s surgery.
**********
“Hoon...see, It’s me.” I heard the voice. I opened eyes and saw Madhuri standing. Her eyes expressed her happiness lips smiled while face fully assured. I touched her cheek with my left hand which she clasped within her palms. My eyes welled up, throat choked and then a silent communication followed. How can I describe what we said to each other? My mouth was stuffed with cotton wool.
“Your operation lasted for ten hours but it was yesterday." she said.
"How do you feel now?” Madhuri asked. With my finger and thumb, I made a ‘V’ sign implying ‘fine’. I would cherish these four minutes conversation all my life. It was a sort of reunion. After leaving Madhuri, Sangeeta entered the I.C.U. and asked, “How are you, Papa?” I winked my eyes to assure her and touched her cheek. My single touch conveyed her several feelings, gratitude for her valiant efforts, commending for the success they aspired and several untold emotions.
“Papa, I attended your surgery for three hours, it was an excellent operation. Dr.Deshpande and Dr.Chaudhari did a wonderful job,” informed Sangeeta. She was followed by my son-in-law Dr.Kedarnath, who was smiling which was quite assuring.
We, the four, fought together with a disease which refuses to relent. Till now all was well. But the demon of radiotherapy was posing a challenge which awaited another encounter.
I was kept in I.C.U. after the operation. I gained consciousness by evening. I was lying flat on the bed with tubes inserted in the nose and urine track. One hand had a glucose-saline-system while the other measured my B.P. which would function, automatically, every half an hour. Probes from the heart beats measuring machine were fixed on my chest. My head had to be kept stationary because of neck and cheek surgery. No part of my body could move, a lying statue like situation. I had repeated phases of sleep which would disrupt for a while and relapse. The operated portion, though not comfortable, was painless. My sleep got disturbed because the doctor and the nurse were talking loudly, not mere talk it was an exchange of smiles, glees and gestures. I wanted to enjoy sleep but their voices kept me awake. I had to remain helpless, motionless watching their mischief. I didn’t know that there was a call bell attached in the bed, I would have pressed it to prohibit them. My mouth already stuffed with cotton, could not produce any sound. Nurses passed by my bed without noticing me. I spent hours in that state of restlessness. Around 2 AM, a nurse gave me a dose of morphine which was also ineffective against the chatting of the staff. Their converse lasted till morning which challenged my sleep. Rays of sunshine were welcome and I wished myself, so I may sleep for a change of their shift.
Plastic surgeon Dr.Charudutta visited me in the afternoon, examined me and informed that the piece of flesh extracted from the thigh and grafted in the mouth had become active. In the evening came Dr.Mandar Deshpandey. He removed the cotton from my mouth and asked, “How are you, uncle?”
I gave a reply through gestures but he asked me to say something. In an inaudible voice, I tried to say. He encouraged me to speak more. He was satisfied with my progress and said, “Your operation was quite good and recovery is fine. We’ll keep you in the I.C.U. tonight and shift you to the room tomorrow morning.” I narrated him the plight during the night and urged, “I can’t stay in this torture chamber another night. Please, shift me in the room tonight so that I might have a sound sleep”. The kind doctor obliged and I was shifted to the room by nine.
With the exception of an incident at the I.C.U. the twelve-day long sojourn at the hospital remains memorable. Vigilant care by the doctors, their cordiality, untiring efforts of nurses and other staff, excellent cleanliness, delicious food, and drinks deserve commendations. Everything at dot time, without reminding anyone, gave me a demonstration of systematic organizational management.
After my discharge from the I.C.U., Madhuri and Kedarnath returned to home leaving Sangeeta behind to attend me. During my treatment, she served me with vigor and sincerity making me believe that she was not my daughter but a son too.
Reports of samples extracted from cheek were received by 29th August 2008. Since the disease was localized at one point only the doctors exempted me from the necessity of Radiotherapy and thus I was given the hint of discharge from hospital by 1st September. Preparation began for discharge, by the evening of 30th August. We had been told of the package amounting to Rs.2,75,000/- at the time of admission and we had deposited the full amount meanwhile. When Sangeeta reached the cash counter to collect bills and pay dues, if any, she was surprised to find a bill of Rs.2,44,000 only. When Sangeeta asked them to ensure if they hadn’t forgotten to include any charge, she was told that this was the amount that the hospital had actually incurred. She returned with a refund of Rs.31,000/-.
This honesty on the part of Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital surprised me. Their fairness in the face of widespread loot prevailing in the medical system seemed unbelievable. I know the mischief of a renowned hospital in my city Bilaspur, though it is a hospital of national repute. Patients are thrown into a vicious circle. Even the dead ones are shown alive by keeping them on ventilators so as to extract as much as possible from the kins of the dead person. Patients have to undergo unnecessary expensive tests just to enhance hospital income. Miserable patients are exploited by charging exorbitant expenses on tests, medicines and consultants.
Why should Sangeeta be surprised? What makes me wonder? Shouldn't honesty have been our instinct? It is this fairness in dealing that earns reputation. Then why honesty is rare? Medical profesion is not a business but a mission for service and care. The fabric of this mission is woven by human feelings. Rupture of these threads bodes ill for the destiny of mankind.
After my safe return from Mumbai, I had another bout with cancer two years later. This time, it was on the left cheek. Once again a replay of the same episode, same characters. The same hospital, the doctor, nursing, the care and the same team of attendants, my better half Madhuri, my daughter Sangeeta and my son-in-law Kedarnath.
In the year 1971, I watched a Hindi movie, Anand. A lively combat between life and death. Director of the film Hrishikesh Mukherji had made it so wonderful a film that it turned into a poem in celluloid which made everyone weep. This film on cancer has become memorable. I hadn’t even dreamed that it will become my story. Within eight years I had three onslaughts of cancer. How I faced the ordeal is known to myself and my family.
Hero of the film Rajesh Khanna, stood by my side during my crisis, helping me, encouraging me. His smiling face despite unbearable acute pain helped me a lot in my combat against cancer. Thanks, Hrishikesh Mukherji, lot of thanks to Rajesh Khanna. Yes, everyone has to quit the world but how to survive the struggle is something that you taught me.
I have observed that one who undergoes cancer surgery again, hardly survives. I was convinced that my days were numbered. What I would suffer would be only prolonging the misery so I conveyed my decision to my family members, ‘I’ll not undergo surgery or Radiotherapy. Let me live as I am, as long as I can, without any treatment. Everyone at home remained highly worried except me. But Sangeeta and Kedar wouldn’t listen to my plea and fixed my surgery at Indore. I had to bow to their wishes.
By that time my two daughters had been married, loans had been repaid and Madhuri had learnt the workings of the Lodge. I had no problem in bidding adieu. So far as pain is concerned, it was a just retribution of the joy I had experienced while consuming tobacco. I was destined to suffer. By that time, I had started writing the autobiography. The only risk was, if I die, my autobiography would be burnt incomplete along me, like many others.
By June 2008 my oral cancer had begun spreading to other areas. I used to have constant pain in my molars, temple and ear. Two months of homeopathy did not show any effect. I was invited to speak on 2nd August 2008 in the Cabinet meeting of Bhopal Lions Club on the subject ‘Organisation Management’. The pain was severe which wouldn’t permit me to speak but I did not want to disappoint the organizers by denying. Despite the pain, I went to Bhopal and spoke for two hours. The pain became acute. From Bhopal, I reached Jabalpur to consult my nephew (sister’s son) Dr.Vikesh Agrawal who referred me to oncologist Dr.Arpan Mishra, who warned me about the fast spreading of disease and advised immediate surgery. I was in a fix unable to decide what to do. Any lapse in deciding could be fatal. I did not want to fight cancer but watch it as an objective observer but Sangeeta and Kedar wouldn’t permit me such liberty. Hence surgery was fixed for 21st August 2008 at Indore. I hadn’t forgotten the pain of the first surgery. This time, it was to be more intensive and longer than the earlier one. I used to shiver imagining the pain awaiting me. I had only options, either to bear the temporary pain or embrace death with indefinitely long suffering. I opted for surgery.
I received Sangeeta’s phone on 18th August who asked me to proceed to Mumbai for having a second opinion. On 19th we left for Mumbai by the morning flight and reported at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital in Dr.Mandar Deshpande’s chamber. The hospital was established recently while the doctors were trusted and experienced though young. Dr.Deshpande had long experience of oral surgery at Mumbai’s Tata Memorial Cancer Hospital. Dr.Deshpande examined me, saw reports and said, “Uncle, you will have to undergo surgery, supra major surgery. Affected bone will have to be removed by operating the cheek followed by plastic surgery of replacing it by a piece of flesh from your thigh to give your face the proper shape. It won’t be as good as the original one, slightly depressed or elevated.”
“O.K.,” said I.
“After surgery, you will have to stay in the hospital for twelve to fourteen days and after discharge, you will have to stay in Mumbai for another two months for Radiotherapy.”
“Doctor, I am ready for surgery but unwilling for radiation.”
“I think Radiotherapy will be necessary after the surgery.”
“Then I would have neither surgery nor radiotherapy, thank you. Allow me to leave.”
“But, had you been my papa, I would have taken this chance, certainly.”
“You’ve said something very serious.”
“I advise you on the basis of my long experience, prepare yourself for both, surgery as well as radiotherapy.”
“O.K., then, go ahead. When do you intend to operate?”
“Let’s have your Biopsy today, we’ll get the report in eight days, three days after that.”
“Doctor, why is biopsy needed?”
“To confirm the cancer.”
“You examined my cheek just now, do you think any confirmation is still needed?”
“You have cancer, it’s confirmed an I can see it. But for patients' satisfaction and our confirmation, we ask for the biopsy.”
“Why should we waste eight days? Operate me tomorrow”, I said.
Dr.Deshpande said, “Get admitted today, some tests will be conducted tomorrow and if the OT is available, surgery day after. Get admitted so that we might begin the procedure.”
“O.K.,” said I.
In an old Hindi film Chalti Ka Naam Gadi, there was an interesting song sung by Kishore Kumar, Jana tha Japan, Pahunch Gae cheen, samajh gae na? (wanted to go to Japan but reached China) . I was to reach Indore whereas I reached Mumbai for surgery. When we reached the center in the night we were told that the twin share package for supra-major-surgery was Rs.2.75 lakhs. We were supposed to deposit Rs.1.80 lakh at that time to secure admission but we got Rs.60,000 only withdrawn from the ATM at the hospital. How to get Rs.1.20 lakh more at that hour? At that time Rajnikant Gadhiya, brother-in-law of my friend Ramesh Jobanputra was with me. He was a resident of Mumbai. He said, “Wait for half an hour, I’ll fetch it.”
By eleven in the night I was on the hospital bed and immediately the procedure began. In the morning of 20th August Madhuri and Kedar also reached Mumbai. Tests, such as scan, x-ray, pathology etc. were conducted during the day. In the evening Dr.Deshpande informed, “I’ve received all reports on my computer. Everything is normal. Be ready by seven in the morning. All the best!”
On my way to O.T. on 21st August, Madhuri, Sangeeta and Kedarnath wished me well, I smiled back. I was taken to a pre-surgery room where several other patients were waiting for their turn. I kept lying there for quite some time, emotionless. I would get up and see other patients and then again lie down. After an hour Anesthetist Dr.Aparna Date arrived asking, “Uncle, shall we proceed?”
“I have been waiting for long, come on,” I replied. A little while after I was lying below the floodlights of an excellent Operation theater. Dr.Date administered an injection in my vein. I don’t know what happened afterward. Oncologist Dr.Mandar Deshpande and plastic surgeon Dr.Charudutta Chaudhari operated on me. My daughter Sangeeta also got the permission to watch her Papa’s surgery.
**********
“Hoon...see, It’s me.” I heard the voice. I opened eyes and saw Madhuri standing. Her eyes expressed her happiness lips smiled while face fully assured. I touched her cheek with my left hand which she clasped within her palms. My eyes welled up, throat choked and then a silent communication followed. How can I describe what we said to each other? My mouth was stuffed with cotton wool.
“Your operation lasted for ten hours but it was yesterday." she said.
"How do you feel now?” Madhuri asked. With my finger and thumb, I made a ‘V’ sign implying ‘fine’. I would cherish these four minutes conversation all my life. It was a sort of reunion. After leaving Madhuri, Sangeeta entered the I.C.U. and asked, “How are you, Papa?” I winked my eyes to assure her and touched her cheek. My single touch conveyed her several feelings, gratitude for her valiant efforts, commending for the success they aspired and several untold emotions.
“Papa, I attended your surgery for three hours, it was an excellent operation. Dr.Deshpande and Dr.Chaudhari did a wonderful job,” informed Sangeeta. She was followed by my son-in-law Dr.Kedarnath, who was smiling which was quite assuring.
We, the four, fought together with a disease which refuses to relent. Till now all was well. But the demon of radiotherapy was posing a challenge which awaited another encounter.
I was kept in I.C.U. after the operation. I gained consciousness by evening. I was lying flat on the bed with tubes inserted in the nose and urine track. One hand had a glucose-saline-system while the other measured my B.P. which would function, automatically, every half an hour. Probes from the heart beats measuring machine were fixed on my chest. My head had to be kept stationary because of neck and cheek surgery. No part of my body could move, a lying statue like situation. I had repeated phases of sleep which would disrupt for a while and relapse. The operated portion, though not comfortable, was painless. My sleep got disturbed because the doctor and the nurse were talking loudly, not mere talk it was an exchange of smiles, glees and gestures. I wanted to enjoy sleep but their voices kept me awake. I had to remain helpless, motionless watching their mischief. I didn’t know that there was a call bell attached in the bed, I would have pressed it to prohibit them. My mouth already stuffed with cotton, could not produce any sound. Nurses passed by my bed without noticing me. I spent hours in that state of restlessness. Around 2 AM, a nurse gave me a dose of morphine which was also ineffective against the chatting of the staff. Their converse lasted till morning which challenged my sleep. Rays of sunshine were welcome and I wished myself, so I may sleep for a change of their shift.
Plastic surgeon Dr.Charudutta visited me in the afternoon, examined me and informed that the piece of flesh extracted from the thigh and grafted in the mouth had become active. In the evening came Dr.Mandar Deshpandey. He removed the cotton from my mouth and asked, “How are you, uncle?”
I gave a reply through gestures but he asked me to say something. In an inaudible voice, I tried to say. He encouraged me to speak more. He was satisfied with my progress and said, “Your operation was quite good and recovery is fine. We’ll keep you in the I.C.U. tonight and shift you to the room tomorrow morning.” I narrated him the plight during the night and urged, “I can’t stay in this torture chamber another night. Please, shift me in the room tonight so that I might have a sound sleep”. The kind doctor obliged and I was shifted to the room by nine.
With the exception of an incident at the I.C.U. the twelve-day long sojourn at the hospital remains memorable. Vigilant care by the doctors, their cordiality, untiring efforts of nurses and other staff, excellent cleanliness, delicious food, and drinks deserve commendations. Everything at dot time, without reminding anyone, gave me a demonstration of systematic organizational management.
After my discharge from the I.C.U., Madhuri and Kedarnath returned to home leaving Sangeeta behind to attend me. During my treatment, she served me with vigor and sincerity making me believe that she was not my daughter but a son too.
Reports of samples extracted from cheek were received by 29th August 2008. Since the disease was localized at one point only the doctors exempted me from the necessity of Radiotherapy and thus I was given the hint of discharge from hospital by 1st September. Preparation began for discharge, by the evening of 30th August. We had been told of the package amounting to Rs.2,75,000/- at the time of admission and we had deposited the full amount meanwhile. When Sangeeta reached the cash counter to collect bills and pay dues, if any, she was surprised to find a bill of Rs.2,44,000 only. When Sangeeta asked them to ensure if they hadn’t forgotten to include any charge, she was told that this was the amount that the hospital had actually incurred. She returned with a refund of Rs.31,000/-.
This honesty on the part of Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital surprised me. Their fairness in the face of widespread loot prevailing in the medical system seemed unbelievable. I know the mischief of a renowned hospital in my city Bilaspur, though it is a hospital of national repute. Patients are thrown into a vicious circle. Even the dead ones are shown alive by keeping them on ventilators so as to extract as much as possible from the kins of the dead person. Patients have to undergo unnecessary expensive tests just to enhance hospital income. Miserable patients are exploited by charging exorbitant expenses on tests, medicines and consultants.
Why should Sangeeta be surprised? What makes me wonder? Shouldn't honesty have been our instinct? It is this fairness in dealing that earns reputation. Then why honesty is rare? Medical profesion is not a business but a mission for service and care. The fabric of this mission is woven by human feelings. Rupture of these threads bodes ill for the destiny of mankind.
After my safe return from Mumbai, I had another bout with cancer two years later. This time, it was on the left cheek. Once again a replay of the same episode, same characters. The same hospital, the doctor, nursing, the care and the same team of attendants, my better half Madhuri, my daughter Sangeeta and my son-in-law Kedarnath.
In the year 1971, I watched a Hindi movie, Anand. A lively combat between life and death. Director of the film Hrishikesh Mukherji had made it so wonderful a film that it turned into a poem in celluloid which made everyone weep. This film on cancer has become memorable. I hadn’t even dreamed that it will become my story. Within eight years I had three onslaughts of cancer. How I faced the ordeal is known to myself and my family.
Hero of the film Rajesh Khanna, stood by my side during my crisis, helping me, encouraging me. His smiling face despite unbearable acute pain helped me a lot in my combat against cancer. Thanks, Hrishikesh Mukherji, lot of thanks to Rajesh Khanna. Yes, everyone has to quit the world but how to survive the struggle is something that you taught me.
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