Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 41

The objective behind this narration was neither to enumerate my sufferings nor to entertain you by describing events and incidents in my life. It is the documentation of the change in social patterns so that coming generations might have a glimpse of it. They might understand the struggle in which men in the twentieth century had been engaged and wonder, ‘Did it ever happened like that?’

I lived an eventful life though it is not possible to narrate everything hence many ‘filters’ had to be applied. There were many interesting and entertaining incidents which could have made this narration more spicy and popular but I had to retain them within the limits of privacy and refrained from writing them. I have tried to say whatever decency permits to say.

You might have felt a kind of affinity while reading this. You might have found persons of your own acquaintance in the people I narrated. You might also have felt happy or sad quite often. In fact, this is not ‘my’ story but ‘our’ story. Normally a man discusses x, y or z but never divulges what happens within his own home. Chains of relationships restrain him from saying much. While describing incidents from family life one has to pause and ponder and has to avoid monolog. A few facts are hinted, some clues are dropped to make one grasp the idea lest some kind of bitterness might develop or relations get strained. Despite obvious risks involved, I decided to pen this story so that it might help someone in moulding his own story, to give it a facelift. I would consider my efforts fully rewarded if your own heart gets induced to pen your story. Please do write, it soothes the heart.

I played my role in life as best as I could. I wish to finish the remaining task with full vigour at my command till my lifeline permits me and I continue to receive your love. Regards.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 40

When I take a glimpse of my past, I arrived at the conclusion that i was like a boatman who spent his life crossing others to the opposite side of the river. When passengers reach their destinations they totally forget the boatman. He returns home alone.It is easy to navigate a boat with soars but difficult to bring one's own boat to the shore.

We grow under the canopy of a family hence we have an obligation towards family to do something for them. Every heart treasures such desire to demonstrate its gratitude. This feeling, at least, persists in the Indian sub-continent. This feeling boosts family’s stamina.  Joint family is based as much on ‘give’ as on ‘take’. This is an excellent example of synergy in which each one nourishes another. By such nurture, families shine and prosper.

With the passage of time one generation is replaced by the following one with roles of members continue to change, members join and leave. In every situation, our ‘role’ is assessed on our efficiency to act. Family-relationship thrives on emotions which become nutrients for relations.

Earnings become necessary to meet the necessities of life, food, clothing and shelter. While money provides food to the stomach, it excites mind for mischief. Feelings are sacrificed under the impact of money and independent establishments come into existence. Quite often, instead of providing food for the family, ambitions soar so high that the prime necessity gets neglected. This becomes dynamite for the joint family system. It is a vicious circle having no escape. One who is trapped is governed by emotions and sense of responsibility. In this situation one must act with caution and smartness. If the person who shoulders all kinds of responsibilities expects something in return, his expectations are likely to be belied because the  world is smart and  shrewd. My conclusion is, ‘Help yourself first. Help others only when you become strong enough.’

It is necessary to set clear-cut goals for a successful life. Before accomplishing ambitious goals one has to accomplish smaller ones. After assessing existing circumstances one should make strategic changes, where even failure can be converted into stepping stone for success. One cannot stop nor stagnate the search for the ‘right wall’ is inherent in these initial failures. A boat sails towards the East the other towards the West. It is not the wind that decides the direction. The direction is controlled using the oars by the sailor.

In our families whatever is being taught in the name of tradition has become outdated not incompatible with the fast changing world. What a child learns during infancy gets firmly rooted in the mind and hence the pace of the new world does not find him up to the mark. The child finds himself retarded. Established notions are getting devastated, so are the concepts and faiths. The old generation had a God, the creator and regulator of activities but the new generation has distanced itself from such fetters. He does not like intruding God because he relies that is intelligent and able enough. This is a significant sign.

Relations are now losing their significance and the warmth gradually because experiences goes on teaching something to us.  It has made invisible intrusion in human behaviour. Social values are changing fast. Whatever happens around us gets an instantaneous reaction. The impact of fast changes is reflected in human behavior, women are acting as males whereas males are behaving in an equally opposite manner. While children are trying to behave as adults, older people have been behaving in a childish manner.

While most of the people spent their life time in earning livelihood, there are some people who are trying to search life in the existence. This is like swimming in a pool as against swimming in the sea. People who are in search of meaning in their life astonish me with their distinguished ability to take unusual decisions whereas people who are in the quest of earning only livelihood agitate me because their stomach is never fulfiled.

The problem with this world is that people do not allow a person to live according to his wishes. Hence as a reaction, he too begins reacting so as to seek vengeance and creates hurdles in the lives of several others. This game has been going on since time immemorial. Pleasure-pain, success-failure, meeting-separation are temporal but whenever they occur in a man’s life they create a kind of mental imbalance. The one who retains his equilibrium and remains unaffected in every circumstance is the person who has triumphed in life.

Life has its own spectrum of colours. It mixes several colors in such a way that it becomes colorless, like the transparent water. That is why it is called, ' Duniya Rang Birangi, world without color.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 39

The time when I was undergoing my education there wasn’t much awareness for education which one finds today. The same situation prevails in the villages today. Only the first benches, eight to ten in a classroom, attended the classes with sincerity, others, though in the classroom, physically present, had their minds somewhere else. They had their own reasons for attending classes. For me, honestly speaking, the study was a boring activity, inducing sleep. I would manage to find ‘Important’ questions one week prior to the exam. After cramming, day and night would manage to pass the exams. What seemed meaningless then appears to be meaningful today. I wish to attend classes again to learn whatever I had skipped in my student life.

In order to find the right direction, one needs good friends which are rare to find. There are too many to lead us astray but few to follow and show the right path. Leniency towards evil friends proves fatal.  It is better to repel them with strong determination. One of my friends used to smoke during college days. Once we were roaming the streets of the city on our cycles, he stopped at a shop from where he bought two cigarettes, gave me one. When I refused, he became annoyed saying that I was not an eligible person for his friendship. So I broke away.

If one wants to excel in studies he must keep the company of the first benchers. Similarly, in order to be a successful businessman or an industrialist he has to keep the company of leading traders and industrialists. Friendship with professionals would mould one into a profession while a man can gain literary nuances in the company of literary people. Company of seers and saints can transform one into a sage. A man is known by the company he keeps.

Jo mil gaya usi ko mukaddar samajh liya, whatever was received considered as my fate, I became content with what I happened to find, expresses an attitude of being satisfied with one's lot. This could be a good maxim for those who want to live single. But if one wants to have a family and lead a domestic life, he cannot remain content with what he finds, extra efforts become necessary. One must discuss one’s interests, likes and dislikes amidst family members, teachers, and friends. One should do elaborate homework, examine all aspects and possible options. While giving priority to interests, economic factors should also be taken cognizance of॰ A person should avoid taking any decision under the pressure of others. It should be based on a pre-planned strategy. It is not just a matter of earning a livelihood, what creates interest, should be undertaken. Success needs total submission, concentration towards objectives, hard work, and patience. There is no short cut to success. It exacts its toil and toll which one has to pay.

Eminent painter Vincent Van Gogh in his autobiography ‘Lust for life’ writes : ‘In order to accomplish a task one has to die first, within. The man is not born to be happy he is here to produce great things for mankind. He is here to secure generosity and go beyond the absurdity that makes existence much miserable.’

Trying to find  means of livelihood and lead to a meaningful life, are two separate matters. However, in th modern world even to manage self, has become quite challenging. Many people depart this world earning only their livelihood, as the purpose of life. At the root of this problem is our family system. From his infancy, the child is reared in such a way that he gets a kind of psychological affiliation with family. Any decision about himself is initiated only when he takes the cognizance of approval or disapproval of his family. In a very shrewd manner, his capacity to decide independently is deprived of. In the entire Indian sub-continent, an individual's decision i.e. marriage is at the mercy of group decision, consent of the family!  It is the family that decides his profession. A farmer will sink his children with farming and allied occupation so will a merchant or an employee or a politician trying to induce the child to choose the profession of the family. Any attempt to deviate from the set pattern is sabotaged. Generally, the parent's motive is to secure their old age in the guise of deciding the child's future. The parents use the tact of emotional blackmailing to secure their children's approval.

The majority of youth is unable to decide their future. If the parents are affluent the children enjoy the gains of their riches. In the cyclone of affluence they become rudderless, boys lazy, girls careless. They find their present comfortable and future safe and secure. That keeps them carefree. Think for a while, why do the children of several affluent businessmen, officers or politicians remain good for nothing, utter incompetent while they were born under great affluence? In contrast children from underprivileged or deprived families are able to conquer insurmountable odds and reach the summit. There are several instances in which an orphan is able to realise his responsibility and accomplish success despite the hard struggle. Similarly, girls losing their mothers early proved efficient house managers. This is a strange world, the parents in some cases are facilitators while in many cases hurdles.

The craze for minting money will make the person money oriented who cannot see anything else. Like the madness in love he devotes himself to the pursuit, earn as much as he can.Those who become billionaires didn’t get money through a lottery. They tried in the right direction and used their foresight worked like a maniac became extremely selfish and remained spendthrift. Such ‘funda’ is equally true in other walks of life. You reap gain as much as you sweat.

Stephen R. Covey in “Seven Habits of Effective People” wrote, ‘Success can not be attained by fixing your ladders on the wrong wall, you merely get climb and climb down. Success is achieved when you fix your ladder on the right wall.’ The million dollar question still remains, how to find the right wall?

There are many attractions in the life. To dream of something or to achieve something is always imaginary. We all dream some visionary advice you to dream. Dreams are nothing but fiction, shattered when eyes are open. The livelihood of people is governed often by coincidence. People seldom achieve what one aspires for, rest accept whatever comes to them. But there are some gallant and visionaries who turn their difficulties into a stepping stone and work hard to fulfill their aspirations. Taking one step at a time towards the goal brings success, provided you adore enough patience to work for it.

In order to reap a harvest one has to irrigate the plant regularly along with the manure it needs. Such constant care can lead to blooms. One should give the highest priority to one’s interests or cultivate interest in the assignment one gets. A pragmatic approach free from emotional and family pressures in choosing career earns rich dividends. It is necessary to have an appraisal of competence and self-assessment along with an understanding of qualities and limitations one is endowed with. Efforts made with full awareness can deliver rewards.

Plant a tree of Neem, Azadirachta indica, sapling outside your home. Irrigate it regularly to develop into a small tree and there will emerge dozens ready to denude it. Some want a twig for brushing the teeth some want a few leaves for medicine. If that underdeveloped plant is not properly protected it would never spread its branches up in the sky and meet an untimely end. Measures are to be taken to ensure the growth of a plant.  Same is true about economic development. A small capital has limited power, it takes a lot of time. Hence in order to maintain it, one has to be a miser while spending. Money saved by such efforts boosts the initial capital.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 38

Whatever happened since birth was bound to occur, destined several events are determined even prior to birth e.g. mother’s womb, father, siblings and the place of birth. Can we change any of these?

People always behave as per their thought process, upbringing and social setup. That is different from how we perceive them to behave. To be exact, our helpers and obstacles are people around us. It is our efficiency whether we secure help from them or succumb to their obstacles. Our nature plays a crucial role. If by nature we have a tendency to manipulate matters to suit our purpose we are able to manage their support. We would resort to all kinds of efforts, like begging, bowing, kissing the feet, sycophancy or even threatening. But if by nature, one is timid and docile, he wouldn’t beg for the favor, he would rather feel ashamed. One may not ask for help, thinking the other person would realize for himself that the needy is in trouble. A hesitant person is cautious about his sense of honor and dishonor and does not reveal his genuine worries. Being self-centered he bears his cross alone.

Lack of communication in the family spoils the order in the system. In our days it used to be just one way. There are three 'speakers' in the family- one who exercises control over the affairs as per his status or who is having control over the keys of the locker or aggressive one. Other members either succumb to their wishes or else they were mere spectators. Such dictatorial policy did not allow any kind of discussion. It was ordering and listening and complying. It is not possible to arrive at any solution for problems when there is no open environment for mutual discussion and expression.

Families which allow the democratic atmosphere to prevail interact with one another, make each one prosper. The prosperity of every other becomes a joint responsibility of the whole family. A better understanding can be observed in modern times where people have the freedom to speak, where everyone is sensitive towards other's pain and pleasure. This is of paramount importance for flourishing.

                                                      **********

In the early childhood, one has to tread the path laid down by parents and teachers. They direct the boat and navigate its course of direction. It is necessary to develop an ability to understand and assess and sharpen intelligence at the time of adolescence. This period poses its own challenges. One is required to be a scholar though he has no interest in studies. One is expected to be a champion in the spots though he has to catch his breath while running. One wants to be an efficient homemaker but it is too much of botherations. An average adolescent becomes adept in inventing excuses and shirks hard work which ultimately turn him into a lazy person. This habit of avoiding work continues all over the life. Ironically, one feels hurt if asked to do something. This retards the process of human development. The world can not afford too many idlers.

Youngsters develop bonding with their friends. During the teenage, Hormonal changes draw them to persons of the opposite sex. They start living in dreamy fiction which are far away from reality. Then creative energy revolves around gratification of sex desires. They lose the sense of direction unable to find an objective or the right path. In many cases, they stay in alleys and by-lanes. Quite a good number became yoked to pull the cart of domestic life.

One who works hard at his young age, enjoys his life later, whereas, if he cherishes rest in young age, he suffers in his life later. Lazy people have their own logic. They are offended when other make them realize their laziness. Such people go on dreaming grand projects and become an expert in inventing excuses. They plant the seeds of Babool, Acacia, expecting to reap the mangoes when it grows.

Every individual is a unique creation of nature. He is provided with immense mental and physical capacity. The human body is dictated by his mind. An individual who has control over mind, naturally control his body also. The mind is like a monkey which keeps sweeping from one branch to other. Great people has a stable mindset. The mind can be trained with practices like meditation. There is no alternative to hard work.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 37

Cancer is Cancer. It is called Rajrog, the emperor of diseases. It knows how to embrace Raja (emperor) or Rank (pamper) into its octopus tentacles. I suffered a relapse in 2008 in the same cheek which had undergone surgery in 2002. Though I used to report for periodic check up and the doctor assured me, ‘You are now safe.’ But, the malady returned. My surgeon Dr.Deepak Agrawal said, “Dwarika Prasadji, this time, your surgery will be intensive. Your molars will have to be extracted and mandible will be removed. Because of removal of bone, your face may look a bit odd. You will have to undergo Radiotherapy as well.”

I have observed that one who undergoes cancer surgery again, hardly survives. I was convinced that my days were numbered. What I would suffer would be only prolonging the misery so I conveyed my decision to my family members, ‘I’ll not undergo surgery or Radiotherapy. Let me live as I am, as long as I can, without any treatment. Everyone at home remained highly worried except me. But Sangeeta and Kedar wouldn’t listen to my plea and fixed my surgery at Indore. I had to bow to their wishes.

By that time my two daughters had been married, loans had been repaid and Madhuri had learnt the workings of the Lodge. I had no problem in bidding adieu. So far as pain is concerned, it was a just retribution of the joy I had experienced while consuming tobacco. I was destined to suffer. By that time, I had started writing the autobiography. The only risk was, if I die, my autobiography would be burnt incomplete along me, like many others.

By June 2008 my oral cancer had begun spreading to other areas. I used to have constant pain in my molars, temple and ear. Two months of homeopathy did not show any effect. I was invited to speak on 2nd August 2008 in the Cabinet meeting of Bhopal Lions Club on the subject ‘Organisation Management’. The pain was severe which wouldn’t permit me to speak but I did not want to disappoint the organizers by denying. Despite the pain, I went to Bhopal and spoke for two hours. The pain became acute. From Bhopal, I reached Jabalpur to consult my nephew (sister’s son) Dr.Vikesh Agrawal who referred me to oncologist Dr.Arpan Mishra, who warned me about the fast spreading of disease and advised immediate surgery. I was in a fix unable to decide what to do. Any lapse in deciding could be fatal. I did not want to fight cancer but watch it as an objective observer but Sangeeta and Kedar wouldn’t permit me such liberty. Hence surgery was fixed for 21st August 2008 at Indore. I hadn’t forgotten the pain of the first surgery. This time, it was to be more intensive and longer than the earlier one. I used to shiver imagining the pain awaiting me. I had only options, either to bear the temporary pain or embrace death with indefinitely long suffering. I opted for surgery.

I received Sangeeta’s phone on 18th August who asked me to proceed to Mumbai for having a second opinion. On 19th we left for Mumbai by the morning flight and reported at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital in Dr.Mandar Deshpande’s chamber. The hospital was established recently while the doctors were trusted and experienced though young. Dr.Deshpande had long experience of oral surgery at Mumbai’s Tata Memorial Cancer Hospital. Dr.Deshpande examined me, saw reports and said, “Uncle, you will have to undergo surgery, supra major surgery. Affected bone will have to be removed by operating the cheek followed by plastic surgery of replacing it by a piece of flesh from your thigh to give your face the proper shape. It won’t be as good as the original one, slightly depressed or elevated.”
“O.K.,” said I.
“After surgery, you will have to stay in the hospital for twelve to fourteen days and after discharge, you will have to stay in Mumbai for another two months for Radiotherapy.”
“Doctor, I am ready for surgery but unwilling for radiation.”
“I think Radiotherapy will be necessary after the surgery.”
“Then I would have neither surgery nor radiotherapy, thank you.  Allow me to leave.”
“But, had you been my papa, I would have taken this chance, certainly.”
“You’ve said something very serious.”
“I advise you on the basis of my long experience, prepare yourself for both, surgery as well as radiotherapy.”
“O.K., then, go ahead. When do you intend to operate?”
“Let’s have your Biopsy today, we’ll get the report in eight days, three days after that.”
“Doctor, why is biopsy needed?”
“To confirm the cancer.”
“You examined my cheek just now, do you think any confirmation is still needed?”
“You have cancer, it’s confirmed an I can see it.  But for patients' satisfaction and our confirmation, we ask for the biopsy.”
“Why should we waste eight days? Operate me tomorrow”, I said.
 Dr.Deshpande said, “Get admitted today, some tests will be conducted tomorrow and if the OT is available, surgery day after. Get admitted so that we might begin the procedure.”
“O.K.,” said I.

In an old Hindi film Chalti Ka Naam Gadi, there was an interesting song sung by Kishore Kumar, Jana tha Japan, Pahunch Gae cheen, samajh gae na? (wanted to go to Japan but reached China) . I was to reach Indore whereas I reached Mumbai for surgery. When we reached the center in the night we were told that the twin share package for supra-major-surgery was Rs.2.75 lakhs. We were supposed to deposit Rs.1.80 lakh at that time to secure admission but we got Rs.60,000 only withdrawn from the ATM at the hospital. How to get Rs.1.20 lakh more at that hour? At that time Rajnikant Gadhiya, brother-in-law of my friend Ramesh Jobanputra was with me. He was a resident of Mumbai. He said, “Wait for half an hour, I’ll fetch it.”

By eleven in the night I was on the hospital bed and immediately the procedure began. In the morning of 20th August Madhuri and Kedar also reached Mumbai. Tests, such as scan, x-ray, pathology etc. were conducted during the day. In the evening Dr.Deshpande informed, “I’ve received all reports on my computer. Everything is normal. Be ready by seven in the morning. All the best!”

On my way to O.T. on 21st August, Madhuri, Sangeeta and Kedarnath wished me well, I smiled back. I was taken to a pre-surgery room where several other patients were waiting for their turn. I kept lying there for quite some time, emotionless. I would get up and see other patients and then again lie down. After an hour Anesthetist Dr.Aparna Date arrived asking, “Uncle, shall we proceed?”
“I have been waiting for long, come on,” I replied. A little while after I was lying below the floodlights of an excellent Operation theater. Dr.Date administered an injection in my vein. I don’t know what happened afterward. Oncologist Dr.Mandar Deshpande and plastic surgeon Dr.Charudutta Chaudhari operated on me. My daughter Sangeeta also got the permission to watch her Papa’s surgery.

                                               **********
“Hoon...see, It’s me.” I heard the voice. I opened eyes and saw Madhuri standing. Her eyes expressed her happiness lips smiled while face fully assured. I touched her cheek with my left hand which she clasped within her palms. My eyes welled up, throat choked and then a silent communication followed. How can I describe what we said to each other? My mouth was stuffed with cotton wool.    
“Your operation lasted for ten hours but it was yesterday." she said.
"How do you feel now?” Madhuri  asked. With my finger and thumb, I made a ‘V’ sign implying ‘fine’. I would cherish these four minutes conversation all my life. It was a sort of reunion. After leaving Madhuri, Sangeeta entered the I.C.U. and asked, “How are you, Papa?” I winked my eyes to assure her and touched her cheek. My single touch conveyed her several feelings, gratitude for her valiant efforts, commending for the success they aspired and several untold emotions.

“Papa, I attended your surgery for three hours, it was an excellent operation. Dr.Deshpande and Dr.Chaudhari did a wonderful job,” informed Sangeeta. She was followed by my son-in-law Dr.Kedarnath, who was smiling which was quite assuring.

We, the four, fought together with a disease which refuses to relent. Till now all was well. But the demon of radiotherapy was posing a challenge which awaited another encounter.

I was kept in I.C.U. after the operation. I gained consciousness by evening. I was lying flat on the bed with tubes inserted in the nose and urine track. One hand had a glucose-saline-system while the other measured my B.P. which would function, automatically, every half an hour. Probes from the heart beats measuring machine were fixed on my chest. My head had to be kept stationary because of neck and cheek surgery. No part of my body could move, a lying statue like situation. I had repeated phases of sleep which would disrupt for a while and relapse. The operated portion, though not comfortable, was painless. My sleep got disturbed because the doctor and the nurse were talking loudly, not mere talk it was an exchange of smiles, glees and gestures. I wanted to enjoy sleep but their voices kept me awake. I had to remain helpless, motionless watching their mischief. I didn’t know that there was a call bell attached in the bed, I would have pressed it to prohibit them. My mouth already stuffed with cotton, could not produce any sound. Nurses passed by my bed without noticing me. I spent hours in that state of restlessness. Around 2 AM, a nurse gave me a dose of morphine which was also ineffective against the chatting of the staff. Their converse lasted till morning which challenged my sleep. Rays of sunshine were welcome and I wished myself, so I may sleep for a change of their shift.

Plastic surgeon Dr.Charudutta visited me in the afternoon, examined me and informed that the piece of flesh extracted from the thigh and grafted in the mouth had become active. In the evening came Dr.Mandar Deshpandey. He removed the cotton from my mouth and asked, “How are you, uncle?”
I gave a reply through gestures but he asked me to say something. In an inaudible voice, I tried to say. He encouraged me to speak more. He was satisfied with my progress and said, “Your operation was quite good and recovery is fine. We’ll keep you in the I.C.U. tonight and shift you to the room tomorrow morning.” I narrated him the plight during the night and urged, “I can’t stay in this torture chamber another night. Please, shift me in the room tonight so that I might have a sound sleep”. The kind doctor obliged and I was shifted to the room by nine.

With the exception of an incident at the I.C.U. the twelve-day long sojourn at the hospital remains memorable. Vigilant care by the doctors, their cordiality, untiring efforts of nurses and other staff, excellent cleanliness, delicious food, and drinks deserve commendations. Everything at dot time, without reminding anyone, gave me a demonstration of systematic organizational management.

After my discharge from the I.C.U., Madhuri and Kedarnath returned to home leaving Sangeeta behind to attend me. During my treatment, she served me with vigor and sincerity making me believe that she was not my daughter but a son too.

Reports of samples extracted from cheek were received by 29th August 2008. Since the disease was localized at one point only the doctors exempted me from the necessity of Radiotherapy and thus I was given the hint of discharge from hospital by 1st September. Preparation began for discharge, by the evening of 30th August. We had been told of the package amounting to Rs.2,75,000/- at the time of admission and we had deposited the full amount meanwhile. When Sangeeta reached the cash counter to collect bills and pay dues, if any, she was surprised to find a bill of Rs.2,44,000 only. When Sangeeta asked them to ensure if they hadn’t forgotten to include any charge, she was told that this was the amount that the hospital had actually incurred. She returned with a refund of Rs.31,000/-.

This honesty on the part of Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital surprised me. Their fairness in the face of widespread loot prevailing in the medical system seemed unbelievable. I know the mischief of a renowned hospital in my city Bilaspur, though it is a hospital of national repute. Patients are thrown into a vicious circle. Even the dead ones are shown alive by keeping them on ventilators so as to extract as much as possible from the kins of the dead person. Patients have to undergo unnecessary expensive tests just to enhance hospital income. Miserable patients are exploited by charging exorbitant expenses on tests, medicines and consultants.

Why should Sangeeta be surprised? What makes me wonder? Shouldn't honesty have been our instinct? It is this fairness in dealing that earns reputation. Then why honesty is rare? Medical profesion is not a business but a mission for service and care. The fabric of this mission is woven by human feelings. Rupture of these threads bodes ill for the destiny of mankind.

After my safe return from Mumbai, I had another bout with cancer two years later. This time, it was on the left cheek. Once again a replay of the same episode, same characters. The same hospital, the doctor, nursing, the care and the same team of attendants, my better half Madhuri, my daughter Sangeeta and my son-in-law Kedarnath.

In the year 1971, I watched a Hindi movie, Anand. A lively combat between life and death. Director of the film Hrishikesh Mukherji had made it so wonderful a film that it turned into a poem in celluloid which made everyone weep. This film on cancer has become memorable. I hadn’t even dreamed that it will become my story.  Within eight years I had three onslaughts of cancer. How I faced the ordeal is known to myself and my family.

Hero of the film Rajesh Khanna, stood by my side during my crisis, helping me, encouraging me. His smiling face despite unbearable acute pain helped me a lot in my combat against cancer. Thanks, Hrishikesh Mukherji, lot of thanks to Rajesh Khanna. Yes, everyone has to quit the world but how to survive the struggle is something that you taught me.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 36

The Yoga training program was being conducted in a village, Pundi, at the feet of Valiangiri Mountains, 37 Kilometers from Coimbatore. The venue was Spand Auditorium of Isha Foundation. There were about three hundred persons attending both males as well as females. Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev was the director. I was upset with my lower-back-pain. I have a nodding acquaintance with English and I could follow the instructions (in English) but alas! my lower-back refused to concede.

Yet, I continued the Yoga training as best as I could manage. Only Yogasans posed a problem there was none in Pranayam and Dhyan.  The surrounding was getting richer day by day. When a large group gets involved in an activity they become mutually complementary one radiating to every other. We had a systematic practice of Hatha yoga, Shaktichalan and Shoonya Dhyan. We realized the age factor reduces the flexibility of muscles. Yogasan becomes difficult because the body fails to comply with instructions. It was insured there that our diet should keep us light and enable us to carry out Yoga practices.

In addition to Yoga exercises, Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev used to address spiritual discourses. It proved to be a unique opportunity to me. After the discourse, the curious ones used to raise queries which he used to answer in a lighter vein arriving at conclusions with easy examples. His discourse used to cover spirituality, the universe, science, religion and human behavior in a structure, layer upon layer. I could grasp new lifestyle and modes of behavior. His vast knowledge, subtle use of English language and his voice left an indelible impression on me. For me, it was a crowning experience.

On the fifth day, we were to climb the Valiangiri Hill top. There were three options, climbing to the mountain and those who didn't want to climb can circle the Ashram and the last option was to rest in one's room. The third one made me extremely happy. I was the only person in the whole group to have opted for the third option.

The morning began with usual exercises at six. Three hours later, at nine, everyone began preparing for the summit climbing. The happiness on their faces made me jealous. All would be going except me. Then my heart prompted, ‘Why not try, come what may.’ I said to Madhuri, "I'll also come along."
"How will you climb with lower back pain?" Madhuri asked.
"There is, no doubt, pain. While all of you will enjoy yourself I would remain confined to bed."
"What if your pain aggravates?"
"It is not my problem.  It is for the Sadhguru to deal with."
"O.K., then, come along", She said.

I put on special shoes meant for climbing and joined others. There is neither a road nor a foot track. There were bushes and plants on all the sides, some small mounds, and sharp climb. All were climbing one after another, in a file. A young volunteer kept my constant company to keep me whenever I had trouble. After a little while, it began raining which made the surface slippery and our clothes drenched. Overlooking my pain I kept climbing. After the hectic climb of three hours and a half, I managed to reach the summit while Madhuri and several others reached later, 15-20 minutes after me. That day I struggled and fought my pain and learnt that nothing was impossible. I also realized that none can beat strong determination. After reaching the top I danced for a while because those were the moments of pleasure, weren't they?

There was an arrangement for meals at the top which was followed by Sadhguru's discourse. After halting for three hours and began a downward journey through the same route, slippery ground and support of a volunteer. It looks us two hours and a half. When we entered Spanda Auditorium I was completely exhausted, I wanted to spread my legs and stretch. But the instructor was differing with my belief and made us do our Asanas, again, "carry on....".

I was novice in Yogic exercises which I seldom practiced. The training camp at Isha Foundation had experts in Yoga.  Under their supervision, I learnt several Asanas, Pranayam and methods of Dhyan. I became familiar with techniques for body and mind control. The exercises conducted in a systematic manner though it began with initial complaints but very soon became easy to carry on and got well stored in the memory. As a result, my body has become so habitual that I can not resist them and I continued them for the past eight years. Even during the railway journey, I manage to do them and people fully co-operate in providing enough space. If  because of some reason I fail to take exercises my body remains restless throughout the day. Sorry, I forgot to tell you an important reward, my ten-year-old lower-back-pain is now a part of history and it doesn’t bother me anymore. I am talking about July 2007. My association with Yoga kicked medicines away.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 35

Do the events in life oblige to individual's plan? A slight deviation does not make one shudder but how should one feel when it totally reverses the direction? One begins suspecting our intelligence and wisdom or one can place the balance on destiny. The small world we live in determines the people we would meet and interact. Relationships are established and developed only within such group with a positive attitude. But these are mere presumptions. We may pat our back or praise our intelligence if events match our presumptions but we blame others if our presumptions prove false.

Sangya's happiness did not last long. It made us feel that punishments of our sins in previous births got crowded in this life. So much of suffering, humiliation, awe, helplessness, neglect, stupidity, volleys of abuses, I hadn't encountered them in my entire life. I experienced all that, we normally see in old Hindi films. I used to feel burdened how could this be in a world of highly educated people! I fail to find words to express what we suffered, a hell of the experience.

The court remains overcrowded with criminals and killers and amidst them, my daughter was waiting for her call with her eight-year young daughter for sin of loving a person. She still loves him and wants to live with him but her lover has been ‘converted’ into a husband who does not want to live with her. My granddaughter Ananya, has grown up and is able to suspect that there is some trouble though she is not able to decipher what kind of Kutti (quarrel) prevails between her father and mother which never gets resolved into Mitthi (patch up). Children never prolong their quarrels so indefinitely.

As for as, I am concerned I have been watching the ebbs and tides of life unaffected by surroundings around me.  I do want to argue with many but not in the court on earth but in the court in heaven.

We are glad that our daughter resides with us and we are able to see her alive along with sparkling Ananya, always in a sportive mood.  My old shoulders are strong enough to bear the two astride without feeling a burden of any kind.  Along with this gladness a parallel pain, though invisible, persists.  This can be gauged by only those parents whose daughters have either been eliminated by the in-laws or returned to their parents' homes.  You too can feel the suffering by imagining my daughter to be your own.  You won't need words to communicate the agony.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 34

Two out of our three children settled, Sangeeta at Indore after her marriage and Kuntal at the Ashram in Coimbatore. Sangya began shaping her future. She was, since early childhood, had no interest in studies but having opted for Civil Services, she took a keen interest. We used to feel happy seeing Sangya, applying her sharp brain. She wasn't a good worker herself but had the knack for getting things done from others. Had she succeeded in entering civil services her nature and attitude would have found an excellent field? She could not succeed in the 2003 State Civil Service Exam conducted by Chhattisgarh PSC despite her hard work. She became a victim of defective ‘scaling system’ introduced. Then she thought of competing for Indian Civil Services and for this she started attending coaching classes at Allahabad and Delhi. During coaching at Delhi, she found a colleague whom she decided to make life companion. Hence she decided to remain a homemaker and dropped from competitions.

Sangya herself had found a companion who was a Chartered Accountant. It is good for marital harmony when children find a companion of their choice. This is something sound but decent. Marriages presuppose sound financial background. My financial crisis wasn't yet over hence we thought it appropriate to delay marriage, as long as possible. The boy had made his family agreed to the proposed marriage. However, haste might be misinterpreted hence I kept awaiting a positive clue from their side whereas the groom party was hesitant in taking an initiative. Thus the matter remained hung in the balance. The two lovers meanwhile would spend hours chatting on mobiles. I used to wonder if they would discuss everything prior to marriage what would be left for them to discuss after the marriage!

On Sangya's birthday, she would-be-father-in-law sent her a wristwatch which we regarded as a positive sign. Yet we could not summon courage. The reasons were, first, the financial constraints that I have already mentioned, and the other was that her's would-be-father-in-law was in Police service. We, the business class, keep shivering whenever we have to deal with Police or Income tax officers. They are so unpredictable, they can draw their sword on the slightest pretext or no pretext at all. You might be surprised to note that the business community even shrinks from inviting them to their family functions. He would visit their homes on the occasion of Diwali to present ‘envelope’ but is afraid of including their names in the guest list. We believe that we must maintain a respectable distance, as the proverb says, ‘Keep them at arm’s length.’

I was in a confusion that this phase of courtship and conversation would soon end and the matter would be reduced into a fiasco. But it didn't end in a flop-show.

Life was back on its normal track. Getting up early in the morning, reaching the Lodge and retiring home after the work. There was no miracle so far to give brilliance to life. However, constant, calculations with regard to Sangya's marriage continued. A whole year passed without bringing any improvement. Neither my financial circumstances improved nor was there any initiative about Sangya's marriage. On the strength of a telephonic conversation, Madhuri and I went to see their home. We were well received followed by pleasantries. Both the parties assessed each other. Would be son-in-law's grandfather was an interesting person who kept a lively conversation. They belonged to Haryana and he narrated several incidents of his childhood and youth. He even added, "You are from bride's family and we have made you sit beside us. In Haryana, they are made to sit near the shoes." I was momentarily stunned hut soon gave a hearty laugh. After all, It was bridegroom's home! Sangya's would-be-mother-in-law gave us a pair of ear-rings for Sangya when we returned. We returned in a happy mood convinced that the matter could no longer be delayed. Next day I sent a written proposal.

After a few days, we received a call intimating us that they would be on their way to visit the Mahamaya temple at Ratanpur via Bilaspur and wanted all of us to accompany them. So went together and visited the temple. While returning Sangya’s would-be-father-in-law and I came by my Maruti-800 while others by the official vehicle. During the journey, he suggested, "I want to say you something. Daughters remain very close to father's heart and obey him. Please make Sangya understand that she would continue to live in the joint family and never dream of establishing a separate home even if my son suggests so."
I kept quiet for a while unable to decide how to reply. His expectations could not be challenged, it was a valid expectation.  But how could I make a commitment to one’s future !"
"Bhai sahab, how much is 2 + 2?" I asked.
"Four", he looked in surprise towards me.
"Correct. But 2 + 2 can also be 22 and can also be zero. Life is not governed by arithmetic formulae. None knows what would happen tomorrow. Who would keep company or would not, is not predictable! Take my son Kuntal's case for example. He went to Tiruchirappalli to be an engineer but joined an Ashram and became a Sanyasi. Tomorrow can not be predicted.
"This is an exceptional case."
"Yes, you are right but I believe that it is futile to nurse expectations from anyone." By that we reached Bilaspur. They came to our lodge, took tea and then departed.

After some days, I received a phone from my Samadhiji : "Please come here, we have to finalize matters about the marriage." I reached the very next day by 9:30 train. Coming out of the station complex to see his official vehicle parked somewhere but I couldn't find one hence I hired an auto and reached the guesthouse where he was staying temporarily. After formalities, he enquired, "Did you find the vehicle I had sent to receive you?"
"I tried to locate it but I couldn't find."
"Oh, I had asked the driver to reach there."
"No matter, he might have forgotten.  I hired an auto." There was an elaborate discussion on the marriage program then he enquired, "How much is your budget?"
"Five Lakhs", I said in a distressed tone.
"O.K. Give us four lakhs in cash and retain one for your expenses," he said.
"O.K.", I said.

It was 1 p.m. and I wanted to take leave of him, "May I leave now?"
"Oh, it's time for lunch. In fact, we get meals from the 'mess' we have to inform the kitchen for extra meals that I forgot to convey. My son had reminded me in the morning but even I forgot to place an order."
"Doesn't matter", your lunch will be delivered, wouldn't it?  we shall share it." I said with a smile.

We had the lunch together and took leave of him. On my return journey on the train, I began recalling the plight father of a daughter has to undergo !

On returning home I narrated the whole episode to Madhuri who became furious,"You don't have a penny to buy poison, where will you get the sum?"
I tried to persuade her, "The current rate of C.A. is around fifteen lakhs, I managed only in five." I said in my defence.
"It is alright. Once you have promised you have to honor it. When?"
"When we manage the sum."
"But when?"
"Can't say."
"What a strange person you are ! Will your's 'can't say' serve the purpose?"
"Look, when I was a kid I used to sit in the 'Pendrawala' shop and two Fakirs, the beggars, used to beg alms. One of them would say, ‘De De Maula (Maula, please give me)" and the other would say 'Allah hi dega’(Only Almighty Lord will give). I never saw any one of them walking to a person to receive alms. The one who intended to give would personally to and give."
"What do you mean?"
"Allah hi dega," I said with a smile. She kept staring at my face.

Then, one day our would-be-Samadhi ji sent an SMS on my mobile. The 'coded' message said, "My pond is dry, fill it with water." I didn't reply. What reply I could give him? My tap was totally dry, without a drop of water but releasing a sound of air passing only, which wouldn't fill up his pond. One day, to press the matter, even the groom telephoned me asking, "What happened to the money you promised?"

While they were desperate there so were we extremely helpless. As the date of marriage began approaching quite near, our tension kept increasing. Ours was the plight of a farmer who looks blankly at the scorching sun while his crop suffers from famine, no trace of cloud in the horizon. Seeing me inactive and carefree Madhuri would often enquire, "What do you plan to do?"
"Nothing" my reply would make her even more depressed.  She said, "Get my jewelry from the Bank’s locker, sell them and finish the episode."
"That won't serve the purpose."
"Then?"
"We would see," I said with the calmness of Tathagat Gautam Buddha.

One day I went to an old class fellow of mine. We were batch met at the high school.  He enquired, "Hello, Dwarika, all of sudden, so early in the morning!" I explained my financial problem to him. He said, "Don't worry.  Your demand will be honored.  Wait a while, I will order to prepare tea for you. What kind of tea, sugared or sugar-free?"
"Sugared, strong tea."

We got our tea, for me strongly sugared, for him sugar-free. After tea, he provided me a heavy bag with currency.

Returning home I apprised Madhuri, "Funds were arranged."
"Wow !  who helped?"
"Allah."
"Allah?"
"Ya, the Fakirs had said, Allah hi dega, He has given."

The two families met on the appointed day and the marriage program ended on a pleasant note. We bid farewell to our daughter. We were happy that we could succeed to bring the episode to a happy climax !

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 33

Meanwhile, another complication arose with Ammaji's condition deteriorating because of old age and several kinds of diseases finding a vulnerable prey. She began complaining about the lack of company or indifference of people around her. There were a lot of complaints, physical as well as mental. She was not being neglected but she lacked the loving attention of her sons. She lived at Raipur with her elder son Roop Narayan. One evening she arrived with my sister Asha in a car which stopped in front of Shri Jagdish Lodge. I helped her alighting from the car, got her luggage taken out and made her rest for a while. After some time she declared, "Bhaiya, I will reside in the lodge now and won't stay in anyone's home."

She made one of the rooms, her residence. Staff and attendants began taking care of her needs from morning till evening. In the morning I used to take her to the bathroom, supporting her and after taking a bath, she would lie down. Two managers of the lodge, Hema and Manju would take care of breakfast and meals. They would, from time to time, administer her doses of medicine and when necessary would massage her body. They became permanent listeners to her reminiscences of past. In the evening, she would sit near the reception counter for an hour or two in an easy chair. She enjoyed the crowd at bazar because she had spent 85 years of her life in seclusion within the four walls of a home. Some of my friends and customers would come and seek her blessings after touching feet. Every evening she would ask me to order an ice cream.

However, after a few days, her health began failing and deteriorated fast. She became restless. Meanwhile, Kuntal had come to Bilaspur.  He would spend hours in his grandmother’s company. He asked his mother one day, "Mummy is old age so distressing and painful? I am shocked to see Ammaji's condition?"
"Yes, it is so."  Replied Madhuri.
"Then start living in calmness. It would be very difficult to have peace in old age," suggested Kuntal.

All of sudden she began showing signs of a nervous breakdown, shouting, talking irrelevant, keeping herself awake during nights. She would doze for same time during the day. In the morning of 30th June 2004. She asked me to take her to the hospital, "I won't survive Bhaiya."

I called the doctor who examined her and suggested to get her admitted to the hospital making it plainly clear that her condition won't improve and would further deteriorate.

While returning from her room to the reception counter I was in a dilemma wondering what would happen in the hospital! Probably, a slight improvement and then worsening again, prolonging her suffering. So I decided not to move her from the room. The same evening I went to Apollo Hospital to see an ailing relative, along with my elder brother Roop Narayan when we returned I was told that her condition further deteriorated I rushed to her room and saw her struggling, the last phase of her life. I kept rubbing her head with my palms and within a few minutes, she breathed her last. 84 years old Sundarbai, a mother of six daughters, three sons with spouses, breathed her last in room no. 401 of Shri Jagdish Lodge.

Thirteen-day long farewell program after the funeral with rituals came to end amidst relatives. Guests would discuss, in brief, a few incidents about Ammaji and would soon divert their discussions about Kuntal. It would prolong without an end. Ammaji expired after Kuntal's departure hence everyone wanted to find the ‘truth’ behind his decision. We were grilled with volleys of questions. On the third day, while I left for Allahabad for immersion of Ammaji's ashes, Madhuri was left to face the folly of questions about her son's renunciation. She would find it difficult to explain so many people and herself began wondering what went wrong. Not only she became sadder day by day but also began restless unable to sleep. In order to avail the torrent of questions, she began confining herself to her room avoiding visitors the Gole Bazar Home. When I returned from Allahabad she burst into tears over my shoulder, "Now tell me what should I say them?"  How could I suggest her a plausible reply? I myself was dumbfounded. We tried to console each other after through tears. We felt as if we had become rudderless, wishing Kammu to return and set things right.

Ammaji's Terahavi. rites and rituals were completed on 13th July 2004 followed by a feast.  We returned home totally exhausted and went to bed. Madhuri became unwell but she did not wake me up. Next morning I saw her in deep slumber. She got up at 7 A.M. and moved towards the bathroom. Feeling giddy, she sat down and then lay down on the floor motionless. I was reading newspaper in the verandah. On hearing a sound I entered in to find Madhuri perspiring profusely. I called her by name but she did not respond, she had become unconscious and had turned cold. I became highly upset. My own condition became worsening drenched in sweat. I was calling her, Madhuri.....Madhuri.  She did not reply, eyes closed and body cold. I felt some mishap was likely to happen. I ran to my neighbor Dr.Ashok Dixit and described her condition. He said, "Reach home I'll follow you in a while." Returning from there I phoned Madhuri's friend Sonu Sihare urging her to rush immediately. Meanwhile, Dr.Dikshit had arrived. He examined her and said, "She is sinking. Her Blood-pressure, as well as heartbeats, are abnormal, rush her immediately to a hospital. We can't do anything here."

Sonu and her husband Dr.Pradeep Sihare arrived. Dr.Sihare had brought glucose pouches with him. Searching her vain he pierced the needle and began injecting glucose by pressing the pouch. I watched my life partner sinking breathless.

It took about fifteen minutes when Madhuri began stirring a little. Dr.Sihare got her admitted to the hospital and kept observing her till she became normal. Since Dr.Sihare is a child specialist patients and their relatives were surprised to see a ‘Baby’ of Madhuri's age and size, began smiling. Our breakfast, lunch, tea, milk was under Sonu Sihare's control and supervision. She looked after us very well. Our relatives began pouring in and after spending a few minutes with Madhuri, dispersed. Sonu and Dr.Pradeep become Madhuri's saviors and kept our family life intact. Thanks a lot, Sihares, May God bless both of you a long married life together.

Madhuri returned home but remained highly upset. She suffered a mental shock and remained silent. I too was highly depressed trying to find some way or other to call Kuntal back.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 32

Kuntal was to return from Tiruchirappalli after completion of his studies. He informed me that he would be at Coimbatore from where we would proceed to Trichy and after collecting luggage from there we would return to Bilaspur. I reached Coimbatore on the scheduled date. From there we reached an ashram 35 km away in the mountain range of Veliangiri. Amidst an extremely pleasant surroundings is situated ‘Dhyan Linga’ temple where serenity was enchanting. By road transport, we left for Trichy. During the bus travel Kuntal apprised me, "Papa, I don't want to take a job."
"Yes?"
"I have thought something different."
"What?"
"I have observed that people are extremely sad suffering from all kinds of troubles.  They are not leading life as they would like to live."
"That's true.  I too find so."
"I want to do something in this direction.  I have found a Guru, Sadguru Jaggi Vasudev.  I wish to work with him."
"What kind of work?"
"To link people with Yoga-sadhana, I pondered long and tried to understand matter from different perspectives. I came to the conclusion that merely to survive for one's sake is meaningless. I must undertake a mass movement to enlighten people. They can keep their heart and body fit by adopting Yoga in their lives. Sadhguru is a wonderful person I wanted to work with him for such movement." Kuntal declared his intention.

I kept quiet as if I have been shrouded by an unknown silence. Our bus was speeding fast while the palm and coconut trees by the roadside were running in opposite direction.

Enjoying the breeze I slipped into slumber. I have realized that whenever my mind feels shocked sleeps come to my rescue. After reaching Trichurapalli we stayed at a hotel.  My mind had stopped functioning properly. I was not able to decide how to communicate Kuntal's decision to his mother. How to apprise Sangeeta and Sangya? I didn't have the strength to sustain the shock alone hence I decided to inform Sangeeta about it. At that time she used to reside at Indore.  I told her over the telephone which made her extremely surprised. She said, "Let Kammu come home, we will discuss the matter then."

After reaching the hostel we packed all the luggage and we went to see the head of the department of Electrical and Electronics. He met us, with a warm smile and said, "Mr.Agrawal, you shall be proud of your son. He is a magnificent and decent boy." Having thanked him we bid goodbye to Trichy REC and left for Bilaspur.

The one and half day long journey from Tiruchirappalli to Bilaspur passed in silence. Sometime Kuntal would cast a glance towards me to assess what I felt, so did I by looking towards him. A swarm of images from the past began rushing into my mind, the healthy infant, Kammu with two braids, the darling of the whole family, has become, too suddenly, a well-grown person, so great that he become inaccessible to assess.

Kuntal spent nineteen days at home with us. He spoke with everyone, with an open mind. Everybody listened to him with patience. Even strong and bitter statements were taken with ease and calm of mind by him. In a very low voice, he tried to explain his ideas which none could comprehend. In fact, his concepts were too complex, entirely different from the prevailing system, hence remained unacceptable. He too, quite often, failed to give a convincing reply to our queries. In such situation, he would swallow his own spittle and keep quite. It is difficult to say whether we were unable to explain our points of we failed to comprehend what he said. Yet, we were certain that sooner or later he would grasp our ideas and reconsider his decision. There were several rounds of discussions. His mother spent whole nights arguing with him but these made him more and more adamant, we became, gradually feebler.

Now, Madhuri and I began making our minds. However, a worldly person remains tied either to the past or to future. The present seems to be out of his thinking. This breed all kinds of apprehensions - what went wrong with him? Has he been hypnotized? Is he mentally derailed?  Is he unwell? Was sending him to Trichi a wrong decision on our part? What prompted him to visit the Coimbatore Ashram? We didn't ever hear his guru's name? Isn't he in the trap of a pretender? What will be his future? Why is he so indifferent to family responsibilities? Such similar questions would agitate us without find an answer. In fact, our minds ceased to operate.

Kuntal went to see his sister Sangeeta.  He was accompanied by his sister Sangya. He had elaborate discussions with both the sisters and our son-in-law Kedar Nath. Sangeeta spoke to me on the phone, "Kuntal has decided and determined.  It is impossible to dissuade him.  In my opinion, it would be unwise to dissuade. Let him go."

Sangeeta's conclusion reminded me of a fable, Bhagavan Mahavir was also a prince who used to keep quiet even during adolescent. He remained indifferent to affairs of the state nor would any pleasure attract him. His behavior made his parents worried because Mahavir was their eldest son and was to assume power after them. All of sudden his father passed away and mother urged him to hold the reins of administration. He said, "I am not interested in the affairs of state. Make my younger brother the ruler and permit me to proceed to the forest for penance." She made the younger son the ruler of state but didn't permit Mahavir to proceed to the forest. Mahavir kept quiet and abide by her decision. He confined himself to his chamber began living as a lonely person. Several years passed, Mahavir remained unchanged. When his mother realized that his behavior remained unaltered she said, "We feel that we have unnecessarily detained you here. You can proceed."
"Mother, I have left since long," Mahavir replied.

Kuntal returned to Indore. Our curiosity was just to find out how strong his determination of renouncing the world. Maybe, he himself began a little wavering. He sent an email to his mentor Sadhguru conveying his feelings and sought his guidance. In reply, the Sadhguru asked him to join Ashram. Kuntal abode by his Guru's counsel did not pay any head to ours. Thus his decision became confirmed. We were left with no other alternative but to permit him. Kuntal said, "Persons treading this path leave home in secrecy without disclosing their intentions to members of the family because they know that family members would never agree. I didn't follow them. I trusted you and believed that you would understand me and gladly allow me to go ahead." We became convinced that he had found a seer, renunciation had strongly claimed him and he was above worldly concerns.

19th June 2004 evening, we installed him on a pedestal, put Tilak mark on his forehead, offered coconut, flowers, some money and let him go with due honor. At Bilaspur railway station, at the time of farewell, I said, "It was our belief that anything done with the heart produce good results. Do whatever you want to do with your entire energy and power. We are with you. Whenever you need us, just call us."

How to describe in words the loneliness our family got engulfed in after Kuntal's departure? His mother got shattered. She used to remain silent all the while, keeping herself awake all the night sobbing. How could I realize her restlessness? I had not kept in my womb nor did I breastfed him I had not nursed the hope of ‘would be daughter-in-law’ walking with anklets. Neither had I dreamed of a long line of grandchildren nor even imagined the pleasure!

Madhuri used to remain annoyed with me. For quite some time she kept complaining that why didn't I took her into confidence before allowing Kuntal to leave. Why did I alone take the crucial decision? She was in belief, had we persuaded him long and delayed his departure he would have stayed. During his nineteen days stay at home, the conversation that we had had, the expressions and gestures we watched made me feel that it was to be wiser on our part allowing him to leave. A further delay would be an injustice to him because his prolonged stay would have caused much mental strain and agony. Though I was not happy with his decision and was extremely annoyed but I knew that ultimately I had to approve his decision. Hence I made an early farewell plan and bid him adieu in a formal manner.

Such desertion on Kammu's part made everyone in family unhappy. He had opted for a new path which was quite strange and we were not sure that he would be able to tread the rigorous routine of an Ashram. Should he feel disillusioned and return it would be a catastrophe because in such situation he would belong neither to this world nor to the hermitage. All the while I would try to find means to call him back in the family.

During a journey, I felt that the Sadhguru had abducted my son. At that time I had turned so wild that I wanted to kill the Sadhguru. Imagine a timid and nervous person of my nature daring to kill a person. Just imagine how excited I had been! During those moments of emotional frenzy, my mind ‘sinned.’ I would call it a sin because Mahavir observed, ‘If even an idea of violence enters your mind, believe that the violence has been committed.’ Though my excitement was momentary, it soon subsided. When I disclosed it to Madhuri she too became stunned. She tried to pacify him in her own way.

To be honest, mine was a miserable plight. The trouble with the males is that we cannot weep even when extremely necessary. In privacy, one could have his eyes welled up but in public, we are expected to show a brave face, a controlled behavior. How to console Kuntal's mother if I began weeping?

I made myself strong willed, yet began remaining melancholy. I could very well assess my predicaments, I had not only to maintain the family during the crisis and must live to fight the disease, stretching the period as long as could. In order to make myself strong, I began summoning my inherent power. Though my heart was strong enough to sustain the shock but as a 57-year-old cancer patient, my energy was in short supply. Hence I began to visit the gym every morning thus bringing down my weight from 99 kgs to 90. Reduction of obesity and the company of youth exercising close by gave me psychological benefit, while some young men used to feel surprised others would laugh at my zest.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 31

My younger daughter Sangya began preparing for State Civil Service after her graduation in microbiology.  My son Kuntal was in the last semester of B.Tech. at Trichy.  Before I tell you more about him I wish to tell about a letter that I wrote four years ago to Kuntal, to enable you to understand the development that later followed :

Bilaspur
(Dated) 16-09-1999

Dear Kammu,
Congrats on the opportunity you won for a happy future. You have entered a new era of freedom and responsibility away from a stereotyped system. I can guess your mental state, you might be in.  I can imagine the curiosity and the feeling of thrill engulfing you. To live it in totality, to develop your own personality and managing time, are the issues that you yourself have to see, assess and act accordingly. You are privileged to be a student of an institution where the best minds of the country are trying to write the scripts of their future.
You had said that you would have to compete with the brilliant scholars. On the surface, this is true but when you probe deep, you will find that it is with ‘You’, you have to compete.You have to judge where you stood vis-a-vis the past moment. Tell, who is your competitor? Surely, there can be no alternative to systematic studies. You are intelligent as well as capable. We all fully trust your talent.
We are sad at your parting from us but we preserve memory associated with you. From such a distance we are unable to do anything for you but we know fully well that you are competent and efficient. Not merely for your own self but for all of us you are doing something significant. The blossoming of your personality, your emergence as an efficient person, will bring us immense satisfaction and happiness.
Mummy keeps remembering you. Some times she becomes jubilant and on occasions tearful. She can't help, she is a mother. Sangya is in top gear of her preparations promising a good result.

Take care.
Papa.
                                                         
                                                     **********

Trichy Engineering College is in Tiruchirappalli Tamil Nadu where Tamil and English reign supreme. English in Tamil Nadu is influenced by Tamil (Tamilite English) hence, in the beginning, Kuntal had to wrestle with language problem which made his adjustment with local surroundings a bit difficult.  However, time passed and he reached the last semester.
 
Reputed organizations reached Trichy for campus interview. Kuntal faced an interview for Pune based Telco Automobiles. At the end of the interview, while rising, Kuntal expressed his desire to work in ‘Research and Development’ wing of the organization making it clear that he had no interest in other wings.
"We cannot promise", came the reply.
"Then if you have selected me, assign the job to someone else."
"What we can do is, we will watch you during the probation period and if we find you suitable we will induct you in the R & D Wing."
"That's fine for me." Kuntal gave his consent. Thus, by the end of the last semester, he received an offer on 25th February 2003 with the condition to score 60% marks for graduate degree whereas he scored 82%.

I received Kuntal's letter dated 26th March 2003.  Some extracts from his letter:

Dear Papa, Mummy and Didi,
I am extremely fine here and hope that all of you are also happy.
Only a few days are left for the college life to come to an end. I still cherish the memory of days when I left home to arrive here. I couldn't realize how soon time passed, four years spent in a jiffy. I learned a lot during these four years, gained a few things, lost a few and saw good periods. I made few friends, though couldn't learn Tamil, worked, slept, didn't study hard but found a good job. My English improved though Hindi worsened, and several things like these. Without ever nursing a hope I got a chance to rise above these (or even below them) and took some time for self-appraisal. I found a Guru who gave me a new direction. I could realize whatever I had been doing so far, without any knowledge as to why I am doing it? Even now the aim is not quite clear or distinct, though there is at least a direction to tread the path, is still difficult. There are several foes, not outside but within.  It would be impossible to reach the destination as long as I do not learn how to control the self.
You might be wondering what this chap Kammu is saying. Yes, I have undergone some change. Looking from outside you won't discover any change but within me, my entire attitude towards life has undergone a drastic change. The beginning was quite difficult, it still is because people around are unable to accept the change but gradually I have also learnt how to deal with such things. One fact is sure, life isn't what it was in the past. It is becoming more thrilling, meaningful and interesting.
Job joining letter from the company has arrived. I am sending a Xeroxed copy which has several terms and conditions printed. I am not sure how much I will get. But, I believe roughly it will be around ten to twelve thousand. I'll find out when I reach there. I am absolutely ready and very excited. Meanwhile, the temptation to spend vacations at home is too strong to resist. This time again I won't step out of the home. Hope you won't rag me too much. I finish letter with lots of love.
Yours
Kammu
                                                      **********

Ammaji became lonely after Daddaji's demise. Daddaji's used to scold her constantly and she had become used to his rant to such an extent that she had become immune. Daddaji would often wish her to die, prior to his demise, but this could not happen. There are certain matters which are not under human control, death or birth, for example.

In 1996 she had a minor attack. She was admitted to civil hospital where she was kept in ICCU for intensive care and treatment. She was under the treatment of medical specialist Dr.S.K.Nigam. Next day a carpenter came to ICU and began repairing room ventilator. His hammering caused a lot of noise. Ammaji could not sleep. I asked the carpenter to stop the work, he went away only to return with the doctor. The doctor began shouting asking, "Why did you stop the carpenter from working?"
"The patient was in trouble because of the noise."
"Do you have an idea how difficult has it been to hire a carpenter? He came after a lot of persuasions and you made him run away."
"You should mind patient's sufferings also."
"The patient is all right.  Don't interfere in our work.  We are here to take care of the patient", threatened the doctor. I was extremely angry but had to swallow it because it was the only hospital where Ammaji could be treated. The carpenter began his work again. I felt that he was hammering the nail in my heart, none can help. Who so ever born in India, has to undergo such kind of situations every now and then. Silence is the best remedy. India remains an incurable country.

Anyhow, the carpenter left after finishing his work. That night, Rajkumar, my younger brother, stayed as an attendant. Next morning when I reached the hospital at about eight I found both, Ammaji and Rajkumar in sound sleep. I called to wake her up but she didn't. I shook her but in vain then I called the nurse. She felt her pulse, tried to hear her heart beats but could not comprehend. Measuring her blood pressure she said in a tone of panic, "Everything seems to be wrong, only the doctor can find out, but he has an hour to report on duty at nine." I guessed she had collapsed, still, I asked Rajkumar to rush to the doctor's quarter and bring him along. Rajkumar ran and I kept staring at her motionless body. Suddenly I noticed a slight movement in her knee.  By that time the doctor had arrived who examined her and said, "She has developed hypoglycemia.  Pulse and heart beats are very low, she is not breathing either." I informed him about the jerk in the knee, he said, "Let me try." He asked the nurse to bring a glass of water (with sugar dissolved). She returned in a short while. He tried to make her drink but her teeth got locked. By a great effort, he managed to "open" the mouth and dropped some water in. She could drink a few drops, the remaining got spilled.  We kept watching in a state of high suspense. Within two minutes pulse, heart beats and breathing began responding. After ten minutes the body began showing a response.  She opened her eyes. The doctor, who seemed a demon yesterday noon, appeared to be an angel.

Daddaji wishes to see her die while he was alive could not materialize. He himself departed four years after this incident leaving Ammaji alone. Ammaji survived for another four years after his demise.  How did she survive at the age of 80+ with high B.P., diabetes, infected kidney, abdomen pain, immobile knee joints, sinking eyes is a tale of agony, too pathetic for narration! A mother of nine children, like a fallen dry leaves from a tree, kept drifting here and there living a neglected miserable life. Why did she live so long? I always felt sad for why did she revive in 1996 to undergo such prolonged suffering.

Autobiography‬ : Journey by Chance : 30

Meanwhile, in December 2001, I had a few blisters in my right cheek which Sangeeta's teachers at Indore Dr.Anup Vyas and Dr.Vilas Nevaskar examined. On suspicion, they decided to consult oncologist Dr.Deepak Agrawal. Dr.Agrawal suspected cancer cells developing in my cheek and decided to have a minor surgery, the very next day so as to remove the affected part and check it spreading to other parts of the mouth.  A small excision was undertaken and two samples were sent to two different labs for analyses. A week later while one of the lab confirmed cancer, other didn't. This uncertainty was a reason for our dilemma. Ultimately it was decided that the sample must be examined at Tata Memorial Cancer Hospital, Mumbai for third advice. Our would-be son-in-law Dr.Kedar Nath personally took the sample to Mumbai and halted there for a week.   He returned on the night of 1st January 2002 to Indore and telephoned me, "Tata Memorial confirmed the existence of cancer cells in the sample. We are planning to operate you for cancer at Suyash Hospital, Indore and Dr.Deepak Agrawal will perform the surgery.”
Madhuri asked, ‘What happened?’
"Cancer is confirmed," I replied.

I was shaken from the core. My heart felt a mild shock. I had seen several of my acquaintances undergoing surgery, radiotherapy, and chemotherapy and despite pain and suffering, succumbing to death within a year.  Their faces and  sufferings floated in my memory.  I realized that my breaths were numbered now. My unsettled children, wife and a mountain of debts.  These ideas coiled around me like a python. I asked myself, "What next?"

"Fetch me a glass of water," I asked Madhuri. She immediately obliged. After drinking water, I spread myself on the bed pulling mosquito-net around. My heart whispered, "Take it easy, have a sound sleep, will see the matter tomorrow."

Next morning Madhuri told me that I had begun snoring within two minutes.

                                                           **********

Dr. Thomas Fuller wrote, "Health is not valued till sickness comes." We continuously nourish our evil within us. We neglect the body that keeps our life encased, especially our food habits are notoriously bad.  Unmindful of consequences we go on swallowing whatever we happen to find around and make our body sick. Lack of health awareness kicks us at the mercy of doctors and hospitals. A sick body induces the mind also to become sick. Why such kind of criminal negligence?

It was 1972 when I find difficult to wide open my mouth. My doctor friend Mahesh Kasliwal diagnosed ‘submucus Fibrosis’, initial symptoms of oral cancer. As a remedy, he had prescribed an injection which I had to get administered by Dr.P.K.Agrawal, dentist at the D.K.Hospital, Raipur. The doctor would fill the syringe with the medicine and inject it at eight to ten places within mouth at random soft palate, sides, cheek, tongue, lips etc. It was extremely painful and my mouth would bleed. Yet this penance proved futile. I could not stop myself from chewing tobacco. Dr.Mahesh Kasliwal would often reproach me, "Stop chewing tobacco lest you should die of cancer."

Intoxicants when they become habits turn into an addiction. People have their own justifications for their addiction.  I too relied on these and then decided on 20th August 1993 to say goodbye to all the three, Paan, Supari and tobacco. But it was pretty late. The disease had taken roots in my body. Hence in 2002, I was in its grip.

A person becomes disturbed the moment he learns of suffering from cancer. The real trouble is not the disease but its fear. This is a typical kind of vamp. It may be appeased but quite often it remains unappeased and kills with a vengeance. People shiver by its mere name, a silent heart attack overtakes them. It is like death is dancing in front of his eyes. With the onslaught of this disease arrives a brigade of ‘Medical advisors' grow who would suggest you the guaranteed formula to cure the disease. Starting from cow urine therapy, they would suggest the self-urine cure, extract of wheat plants, Ayurvedic, the Indian cure pathy, homeopathic remedies. In addition to these name of a tribal quack, a Vaidya, the Ayurvedic doctor, from Banaras were brought to my knowledge. I was in a fix, whose shelter should I seek. Prominent among these free advice was ‘to resist from surgery because surgeon's knife causes it to spread.’

I began with one dose of a reputed homeopath but it made me extremely upset. My daughter Sangeeta and Kedarnath were in favor of surgery and that too without delay which would otherwise cause spreading over other organs of the body. I was in a triangle of troubles, the first was the scheduled marriage of Sangeeta on 15th February,  the second was surgery just one month prior to the marriage function and the third was the delay which could turn fatal.  Along with these, was the financial constraint.

The date of surgery was approaching closer while the pocket was getting depleted day by day. I would pretend to be normal showing no sign of panic whereas my mind became duller day by day. Every day seemed to be more and more difficult.

I was in my lodge when my close friend Ramakant Mishra Raja, who had taken VRS from The State Bank of India, came.  We had tea together then he enquired, "when are you leaving for surgery?"
"I haven't yet planned."
"I suppose you were to leave immediately?"
"You know, surgery is not done for free.”
"How much would it take?"
"No idea, but might not be about a lakh.”
"Then?"
"Then..... I am dumbfounded." I replied.

The meeting came to an end. Raja left, after two hours he arrived and gave me a bundle of currency, "Here are seventy-two thousand. Take them and start for Indore without any delay. This is what I had in my account now. In case you need more, just give me a ring. I'll personally come to you with the additional money." He almost ordered me to leave.

My eyes welled with tears. I wondered, who would care to help a person inching towards death?

After three days, Madhuri and I reached Indore and met the surgeon Dr.Deepak Agrawal the same evening. I requested him to postpone the surgery till Sangeeta's marriage, promising that ‘I would report the very next day after her marriage.’
"Dwarika Prasadji, stop worrying about your daughter's marriage. We are here to see that everything is alright. You go straight to Suyash Hospital and get admitted now. You would be operated on day-after-tomorrow." Dr. Deepak Agrawal clarified.
"Is it so urgent?"
"Yes, that's why I insist."
"O.K. then do what you decide." I agreed.

From there we went to the hospital. Necessary tests were conducted on the next day. On the morning of 17th January 2002, a nurse came to get the consent paper prior to operation filled and asked Madhuri to sign it. Madhuri said me jokingly, ‘Today my signature is valuable.’
“Yes,” I said and we both burst into laughter. The nurse looked us in surprise. Maybe she found us different, as we were in merry before going for a crucial surgery.

After few minutes two ward boys dragged the stretcher trolley in. They took me towards the operation theater. My eyes were fixed on the ceiling while the stretcher was moving towards O.T.

I was laid on a surgery table and soon I was surrounded by a team of doctors and nurses.  In the Operation theater, there was background track playing soft melodies of Late.Mohammad Rafi and I were just surprised by the song selected, Aaj mausam bada beimaan hai, aane wala koi toofan hai. Someone whispered to me, "We are giving you an injection, it will pain a little, O.K.?" The song dissolved in the air then suddenly I heard Dr.Agrawal's voice, "Dwarika Prasadji, get up. Your operation is over. Can you hear me.....?" I looked at him and tried to smile but couldn't because my mouth was stuffed with cotton.

I was told that the surgery lasted three and a half hours. Afterward, I was shifted to post operation care room. Oral intake of food was not possible, so with a tube, I was fed with water, milk, fruit juice. Since the mouth was stuffed with cotton I couldn't speak. So I started expressing with body gestures. You can imagine the mental state of a person who is neither allowed to eat nor to speak. But this is what one has to endure when such circumstances demand so.

Next morning the doctor came to enquire about my post-surgical condition. I confirmed my wellness through my gestures. My recovery was very fast so I was discharged from the hospital on the fifth day. When my daughter saw the bill, prior to discharge, she was surprised to see the amount, twenty-two thousand only, which was only hospital charges plus the cost of medicines. Surgeon Dr.Deepak Agrawal and his colleague Dr.Vilas Nevaskar did not charge their fees which were around Rs.ninety thousand. We went to Dr.Agrawal's chamber in the evening and enquired the reason forgoing his fees, ‘I don't have a right to charge fee.’ Dr.Deepak Agrawal said.
"Why?"
"Your daughter and son-in-law are doctors. How can we charge a fee? You just bless me."

Samples collected during surgery were sent to the lab so as to decide the next stage of treatment, Radiotherapy or Chemotherapy. Stitches of the surgery from my ear to the lips looked like a stitched gunny bag.  We were advised to prolong our stay at Indore for a week to conduct the regular check up and cutting the stitches after healing.

While everyone used to enjoy delicious meals and breakfast I used to look at them with a feeling of temptation and condemn myself. Whenever they used to enjoy famous Alu-kachori with Chatni, I used to feel jealous because I was condemned to tube feeding through the nose. I was getting my due punishment for having enjoyed tobacco for such a long period. Those who are addicted to tobacco or cigarette they are well aware of the dangers of cancer, they also read the statutory warning but continue to delude themselves that it would not touch them while claiming others. It is one thing to suffer the disease and quite other to go on talking about it. When cancer attacks an individual the entire family suffers. Bad habits are like leeches who won't leave once they sting a person. Seeing what I have been suffering must have struck my elder brother and the younger one.  Both of them are also addicted to tobacco. Yet, despite my plight, they could not get rid of addiction.

Twelve days after the surgery, my stitches were examined. Fully satisfied with my progress they removed the stitches with a smile he said, "It is my sheer luck to have a patient like you, Dwarika Prasadji".
"What is the matter, Doctor?” I asked.
"Whenever I asked how you were feeling, you always replied that you are far better than you earlier. Despite such a major surgery you never complained about pain while other patients raised a lot of hue and cry."
"Shall I tell you the truth?"
"Please."
"I did feel pain but it used to evaporate as soon as I saw you.  Your painkiller pill is not as effective as your smile is." I replied.

Meanwhile pathology reports had been received. The samples proved to be in my favor and no further therapy was needed. My heart danced in pleasure. I felt like a convicted criminal being released from jail prior to completion of his turn on the grant of good conduct.Tube was removed from the nose and permission for oral feeding and returning home were granted.

                                                           **********

Little time was left for Sangeeta's marriage. Ornaments, clothes and other essential purchases had to be made. The guest list was to be compiled, invitation cards were to be printed and dispatched, relatives were to be invited on phones plus necessary precautions to keep me fit. All these had to be done simultaneously. Since time was a crucial factor hence whatever we could do at Indore was done then and there. The doctors had waived their fees and substantial cash was available from Raja’s and Rajkumar's financial help. Hence everything could be done at jet plane speed.

I returned to Bilaspur after my battle with cancer. I was back home though I didn't have time to take rest and recuperate. We have a social convention that people flock at the residence of a patient, in the way they greet a soldier returning from the front. This gives the patient a ‘feel good’. I did not have the luxury to spend my time. Very next day I accompanied with Madhuri, drove the scooter to distribute Sangeeta's wedding invitation cards. Everyone was taken aback, ‘I believe you have undergone cancer surgery!’
"Yes, now I am here." I used to say. Scratching their heads they would watch scars of surgery on my face look at me with bewildered eyes and then would discuss the wedding program.

By that time, the bank had sanctioned the loan. I could repay Ramakant Mishra's loan. Rajkumar got packets of sweet ready while elder brother offered with cash to enable me Tilak for the would-be son-in-law. My mother was with elder brother at Raipur. I had asked my younger brother to bring her to Indore to which he agreed. But in view of her weak health elder brother didn't permit her a long journey. Sangeeta’s marriage ceremony was over despite her Dadi’s, grandmother, absence.

With a number of boxes and packets, we boarded the train for Indore and reached there the next day. Both the parties were to lodge in a hotel. Prior to marriage, a feast was arranged at Chokhi Dhani with Rajasthani meals. Our entire family assembled, so had come several friends and relatives from distant places even abroad.

Next evening, Dulha, the groom, arrived with his family. Marriage procession began. After visiting a nearby temple the procession reached its destination. It was an extremely simple wedding without the ritual pomp and show off a music band, firework and dances.  Watching the couple tying into the knot and exchanging garlands, my eyes welled with tears. Its delight only knew to father and mother when they marry their daughters. Everyone was happy for Sangeeta’s marriage except me and Madhuri, who didn’t know how to bear the pain of her absence in the family.

The next morning was the farewell. The heart was heavy and rest of the body exhausted. There was few ‘family type’ unpleasant incident too but such are quite normal during marriages. Since I was used to such ‘combats’ I didn't find anything odd or strange. It was almost like an inadvertent swallowing a piece of hot chili while chewing food.

Whatever amount was received from relatives and guests as the gift, I took it to my son-in-law requesting him to purchase whatever domestic items needed for the home.
"Keep it with you.  I don't need." He said.
"Why? It is a gift from us." I insisted.
"O.K. If you insist I'll take just ten thousand to have a steel almirah.  Other items we will buy from our earnings." He returned the remaining amount.

Sangeeta's father and mother-in-laws kept their promise and brought her to the hostel to enable her to prepare for studies. Exams were over without any problem.

                                                **********

To be a daughter's father is exhilarating but equally distressing becomes her farewell from home. Questions continue to agitate the minds of parents, what kind of environment will she find there, how she adjust herself in the family etc. but boomerang and return without an answer. Every moment one expects a call informing, "I am fine Mummy ..... I am quite a happy Papa....."  Normally Indian brides do not disclose their suffering to their parents lest they should feel hurt. So, we were always worried, whether she was really happy?

While returning from Indore I became extremely upset. An agony overtook me. Why we made such a hurry? Was she a burden to get her disposed of in haste? Shouldn't we have given a few more years for studies? A highly qualified bride is going to a small town, how will she feel there? Questions reverberated and scolded me all the while and I had to console myself with K.L.Sehgal's memorable farewell song, Babul mora naihar chhootahi jaye....., My father, I am bidden to heave my abode.

After reaching Bilaspur, we immersed ourselves in all kinds of activities. Sadness gradually dissolved. Time is the greatest healer.

The result arrived soon.  Sangeeta, along with a photocopy of her B.D.S. Certificate sent me a covering note:

(Dated) 12-05-2003
Dear Papa & Mummy,
        With your blessings and constant untiring efforts our dream is fulfilled and you lazy daughter has become a certified doctor.
        My endeavors will be to ensure that its benefit reaches every patient who comes to me. This highly prized degree won on dint of hard work is dedicated to you. The path that Kammu and I could find, soon Sangya too will tread on it, and this is what I hope. Our family is going to be a model for others.  Amen.

        Your daughter
          Sangeeta.